Move if you wanna.

Basic Rant.

2009-11-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

You know, before I came here, I felt like I was so good at certain things. I felt like I could overtake a lot of things. Wow, what a big slap in the face. Apparently, I'm really not good at anything that I used to be good at. Academically. How much more discouraged can a person get? How many times do I have to fail for me to think "Wow, I suck" because it's happening right now. I used to think that things were my specialty. But how in the world can I fail so hard right now? I feel like the biggest failure right now. I feel like I can never get what I want no matter how hard I try. How can I be shot down so hard and so often? Who is out to get me right now? How much do I have to cry to realize that I'm not what I think I am? Who am I kidding? I'm just failing so much right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I've never felt so lost before. I've never felt so misguided by so many things. Where is the road? Where is the track? I feel like I'm walking an open field. Walking into an ocean thinking I could swim when in reality, I suck at it. Time to rethink about my life. Time to rethink about school. Time to rethink about my goals. Time to rethink about everything that I've ever wanted & dreamed...and time to think realistically. I need to stop kidding myself.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"Improvisations are what make life interesting..."

2009-11-02T12:27:00.000-08:00

Desire. It's interesting to think about how much a person could WANT something so badly. See for me, when I want something, I make it a point to get it no matter what. However, what does a person do when that desire slowly starts to deteriorate? What does a person do when that fire slowly starts to become discouraged no matter how much you put into it? What a conflict, right? What can you do when that happens? Well, it's hard to keep spirits up. It's hard to hold your head up saying to yourself, "I can do this." What else is there for you when your desire, your goal, becomes a dream deferred?

Lately, this has been me. My hopes and dreams of something I've wanted so badly has slowly started to discourage me and obstacles slowly start to become harder in which I end up finding myself standing there thinking, "what am I going to do now?" and "what else is out there for me?" How hard it hurts to think that you are giving up on yourself. Maybe you're not giving up on yourself, but it's like all the world is giving up on you. What are your second options? What's your plan? What to do now?
See, I admire those people who can "ride the wave" and see where life takes them. They're happy. They just live life. But how can one live like that knowing that the world is coming down on them. Okay not literally, but economically? With the economy falling, people end up letting go of what they want, and becoming what they HAVE to be. All dreams, desires, goals slowly die out. It hurts. It hurts to know that I might not get to do what I want. It hurts to think that I might not get to be what I want. Worry. Worry is the best word to describe it. Sure, it's not a good thing to be, worried. But the thing is, worry makes me go back and focus back on God. Worry makes think ahead & plan ahead. Sure, it's stressful. But that's what happens to me.

Don't you hate when you have to plan out a whole day, hour by hour? Sigh. That's my life. I feel like there's no room for improvise. Improvisations are what make life interesting. It's where you learn about your life and how to deal with certain things. When you're too busy trying to fulfill those desires, how can you grow into a HUMAN BEING? There's no room for life. Sigh. It's a tough life out there, isn't it?
So what do we do now? Well, as the saying goes "Let go and Let God". We just have to keep ourselves knowing that our lives are in God's hands. He has our lives planned out and we just have to be who we are. Making rash decisions without consulting God first is like walking into an ocean not knowing how to swim. I guess I just have to keep my head up. Life is going to change. Maybe not the way we want it to or aiming to, but our lives are in good hands. We should make time for life to happen. We need to be a human being. We need to be alive. No more dead zombie (if you know about me, I got scared actually just writing that word. HAHAHA) schedules. & most importantly...
Smile. I promise, it makes life that much more bearable. Because when you think about it...we have it better than those out there.

(How ironic how the song playing as I end this blog is Let It Go - Gavin Degraw. Look it up. Hahahah.)

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Take that, rewind it back. Lil' Jon got the beat to make your booty go....

2009-11-01T01:02:00.001-07:00

SMAAAAAAAACK! :D

I am happy. [:

"On the real...say FML again, and I will FYL."

2009-10-13T13:43:00.001-07:00

Life is too wonderful to sit and complain about. Life is too short to only look at things that aren't going your way. I don't think people understand to the amount of how much your life is worth to others. Sure, it's my life you may think. But maybe that's what's wrong with everyone nowadays. Only thinking about yourselves.

My freshman year of college, I did a study about our generation of people. We're called the "Y Generation" Why you ask? Well, it's because we base everything on ourselves. Why do you go to school? Because YOU want to be successful in life. The internet holds profile pages called MYspace & FACEbook. Put it together, you get pretty much what the internet is about: MY FACE. We always want something for ourselves. Sure, I'm generalizing pretty harshly but honestly, tell me I'm wrong if I am. Because right now, I'm pretty sure I'm right. How would you answer that question if you didn't want to base it off yourself you ask? Well. "I go to school because I want to contribute to making the world a better place for everyone else. I want to help people." Ahh...the communitive answer.

Thing is. Why are people so unhappy with their lives? Sure, it's understandable when things really do happen that is out of our control & I respect that. But when little things happen, we just feel like the world is gonna die & things aren't going our way. Man. Sure, I admit myself to being like that. I'm human too. But who are you to hold a grudge to your entire day to mess up the entire week. Or even, other people's days? Now, you're just a bully....bully. But being unhappy about something in your life is different than being unhappy WITH your life. You can control your life. You know that right? Oh, you do? Just checking. Unhappy with your life? Fix it. Moping about something doesn't do ANYONE good. (Oh believe me, I'm actually giving myself advice right now too. HAHA) OH and don't go around cursing everything about your life. Speaking of cursing...

The excessive use of FML is just ridiculous. Sure it's a saying, but to really say "F*** my life". It's like saying you hate your life from something so minute or maybe something so major. But is it really necessary to say it? Some people WISHED they had the life that you lived. How selfish can we be to say F*** MY life. I think people need to realize that life is not about you. It's not about how everyone is out to get you because honestly, people don't care. Well they do to an extent of care. But it becomes ABSOLUTELY ridiculously when you say to just F*** your life. You crazy. I bet your life is awesome, but for some reason...you spilled spaghetti on that white vneck shirt before going to your class with that cute person of the opposite sex that you're trying to impress. Oh FML. Or you're so sad because a boy doesn't like you or notice you for all the hints on your wall posts/comments. Oh FML. Or you're so upset because you forgot your password to your self-idolized webpages. Oh FML. On the real...say FML again, and I will FYL. It's getting to the point where it's ridiculous because now, you're making your perfectly good life a worthless piece of shiiiii.......crap.

So for those of you who now realize that your life is actually a whole lot better than those who can't even AFFORD to have a horrible life, they just HAVE one because of things they cannot control within their lives, I hope you realize that saying FML or ranting on the internet about your life so other people can read it & ask you "Oh! Tell me what happened!" (which, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of doing at one point of my life) is, well...let's put it this way. I don't care? I don't know. Maybe others do, but speaking for those who honestly just don't care about your FML'd life that in reality is great, we don't exactly give that kind of sympathy. That's what you wanted right? Too bad. Besides, you think that the people of the Philippines who were hit by Typhoon Ondoy said "Oh crap. A typhoon hit us. FML." I'm pretty sure they didn't.

No wonder why teen suicide is higher than usual in our generation than any other generation combined since the Baby Boomer era.

The use of FML or any self-idolized website have actually caused a huge rise in teen suicides because of self-confidence. Sure you may think it sounds stupid & irrational. But infact, it's true. There's other more important things in life than to think about yourself. Those whose life is great except for that one small factor (broken heart from a breakup, lack of friends on Facebook/Myspace, no views on Blogspot) you need to realize that life is WAY too amazing to be thinking of things like that. Let me tell you now, our generation is so selfish that we want to end our lives because something wasn't going our way. News flash: It's not about you. So, maybe if you do something about your life, if you change it to make your life better & EVENTUALLY WORK on your own life, you'll find happiness.

In the meantime, shut up with the use of FML & maybe you'll see that your life is actually great & you'll eventually start saying MLIG.

Peace & love.

Btw: Check this out. Specific about what I was just talking about. HAHA. Although, it made me laugh. [:

http://www.bangitout.com/articles/viewarticle.php?a=2874

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Just shut up!

2009-10-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Honestly....

Quit your whining complaining self. Get over holding grudges. I've had just about enough of it. Get over yourself. & Don't try to make it seem like everything is aiming at you because the world does not revolve around your orbit. I'm thoroughly and ridiculously disappointed in you.

"But do we want the other person to be happy?"

2009-09-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that you just wanted to just be with a person for a long period of time? Ever felt like, you really just want to be around a person and no one else? Ever feel like, you don't exactly want to share someone with anyone else? I've had that feeling. For me, it's a very hard feeling. It's something I personally don't like. I feel very...selfish.

You know, when we care about someone or like someone, all we want to do is be around them and talk to them. We just want to be with them. Not in the romantic sense, well maybe so, but in the sense that they make us happy. So why wouldn't we want to be with them? We want to be happy. But does that constitute the best interest for your relationship? Not so much. But do we want the other person to be happy?

Missing them, thinking of them, wanting to be with them, wanting to see them isn't a selfish idea at all. In fact, it's a very caring idea. Nothing wrong with that. But when you don't want them to do anything else BUT miss only YOU, think of only YOU, want to be with only YOU, want to see only YOU becomes the selfish idea. How is a person going to build a relationship on solely each other? How are you going to be able to have people look at your relationship from an outside perspective if you don't allow yourselves to have a third observing party? I think every relationship needs someone to look out for it. If you're gonna be selfish and want to keep that person all to yourself, how are you going to get that third party observer?

As much as you want to really care about someone & be around that someone all the time, to be selfish and keep them only to yourself and then be upset about the fact that they also have a life is not healthy. It's not a healthy way to start or continue a relationship. So ask yourself, is your relationship with a certain person based on selfish thoughts? Or do you allow each other to learn and grow from other people who help make the relationship a bit more interesting? I'm not trying to say what selfish is per se, but it's more of a question to ask yourself. Are you being selfish? Do you get upset when that certain person is busy for a good reason? Do you find yourself only wanting that person to spend time with you? Those are questions you should ask yourself when defining a relationship. It's the definition of what your relationship is built on.

However, there are situations in which someone may be selfish in a way that's uncaring. For example, not considering another person's feelings or even caring about what they think about spending time with them to do your own thing. Or not allowing yourself to spend time with that person because of your own desire or want. See, the defining point in which selfishness is applicable is based on how the relationship is between two people. If you two have mutual feelings, then each relationship should be agreed upon 50-50. If you like the person, then being selfish in only wanting that person to spend time with you isn't healthy. It may vary amongst people, but I really believe and truly think that each relationship should not be based on selfish feelings at all. Regardless of how you feel about someone. You can't keep someone all to yourself and neither can you keep someone who likes you waiting when you don't feel the same. Two different kinds of selfishness, same aspect of hurt.

Overall, I think each person needs to evaluate where you stand on selfishness for your relationship. Consider the other person's feelings. That's the focus and that's the solution. If each person considered the other half of a relationship, there would be more smiles between couples. Don't you agree?

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"But you're time isn't up..."

2009-09-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

You know, it's funny. When you go onto other people's Facebooks or Myspace (not like I go there anymore) or Twitter. You realize that you kinda miss them. Or you realize that you're glad you don't talk to them anymore. It's interesting how the human mind chooses to keep who they want within it's memories and daily thoughts. Unless you stumble upon these people and you try to remember what happened between you and this person (or you're screaming and jumping up and down for joy because you and this person are so far apart now). Either way, you're still thinking about the person you look up. For some strange reason, I stumbled upon some old old, OLD exes within my past. Just say, an interesting thought came across my mind.

How often do you think about a guy/girl you once were with and realize that you miss that person? Not often? Often? NEVER?! Well you know, I wouldn't say I would never miss that person again (with an honest exception of one) but I wouldn't say I did miss them to the point where I'd want them back. I miss them because there was a change in me when I was with them. There was a change where I was happy and they brought out my happiness. In a romantic sense? Nahh..but in the most beautiful sense that I could've ever wanted: A friend. They were my boy-FRIENDs. They were people who have hurt me, yes. They were people that I have hurt, even so. However, regardless of what they've done to me or I've done to them, they were always, my friend at one point or another. I do want to know what's new with them. I do want to hear about their lives nowadays, even though it may hurt me. Why? Because I'm a friend. I am THEIR friend. I am a person, who hates losing friends.

So as you look back on those pictures of them and their new girlfriend/boyfriend or their status says their with someone new, how do you react to this? Jealous, angry, pitiful? Or are you happy, excited, joyful because they're happy? Sometimes, when we feel jealous, it's because we are not happy and we are not being a FRIEND to this person. It's understandable to feel upset because you want this person back, but how much anger can a person have towards someone who is happy? Sure it may be unfair to you, but you're time isn't up. You'll forever be happy one day too. Maybe, you're even happy now. But on the real, as hard as it is, be happy for them. They made you happy & you know what they're capable of doing to bring happiness to someone else. I'm not saying that I do feel jealous, but I'm not saying I don't. The feeling I have is friendly, let's not forget. Hahaha. Not all entirely a romantic sense.

How many times can you say that you've looked through your old exes and realized that you miss them? I say that somewhat often to some of them. These exes all had a part of my life that they grew from. Both of us grew from each other and when you see them now, you realize you had a part in their life which now is apparent in their new girlfriend/boyfriend. How cool right? Never be bitter about an old flame. Why? Because you will always be part of their lives no matter what. You have put some type of seed within them to where they will always have a part of you in them. If you don't want that to happen because they're such douchebags? Well, maybe that good part of you that you left will change him/her for the better. All I can say now is, they were your boy/girl-FRIENDS. Let's not forget how big of a change they put in us. For the better. Because if it weren't for them, would we be who we are today? Didn't think so.

--Danielle Delos Reyes

"It doesn't choose where to go..."

2009-09-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

Say it again for me, 'cuz I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one that blows your mind.

I love writing about love. Hahahah. Well, what I believe is love for myself. So a few days ago, my closest guy friends and I were sitting in a tent (close spaces make people be open. Hahaha) and we were talking about relationships. They're all younger than I am, so it was rather interesting to hear what they had to say about it. One of them said "Love is not a feeling. It's a decision." Another said, "Love is a promise." Another one of them said "Love is a commitment." You know, it's really an interesting topic because I can't even say what love is for sure. Well, romantic love.

You know what I think love is? I believe love has no eyes so it doesn't choose. Love can't be seen, per se. It's something that is given and felt. God is love. You can show "care" and "hospitality" which eventually makes you loving. But you give those things right? Love is never judging. It doesn't choose where to go. Love is never jealous. If "love" causes you to feel upset, then it's not love. This is a rather touchy subject and I don't want to get full into detail about what I believe love is. But I think we can all agree on these few things. Love is not just a something to someone. You have to be able to love yourself before you can love anyone or else, what are you giving? Right?

Just a thought. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"The things that don't kill you, will make you stronger..."

2009-09-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm sitting here because last night, I actually had something to write about. But after dealing with today, I feel like what I was going to write about had more than just happy feelings.

Ever wonder how much impact people's words had on you? When I was younger, I smiled when my teacher would say "good job Danielle!". However, I cried when someone would say, "You have ugly light-up shoes!". When I got to middle school, I smiled when someone told me, "You have the cutest outfit on." However, I cried when someone told me, "You don't fit in with us." When I got to high school, I smiled when boys would notice me and tell me, "Dang, you're cute." However, I cried when girls would tell me, "You're such a (insert degrading word of choice here)." When I got to college, I smiled when I would hear, "Wow, amongst all these kinds of people, you can stay a virgin." However, I cried when someone told me, "I don't want to be with you because you ARE a virgin." Ladies and gentlemen, words have the biggest impact on an person.

Sure this all sounds so elementary. But people tend to forget. People tend to just say things that are on their mind without even thinking about it. Either good or bad. Words can make or break someone. Yeah, basic statement. But it's hard to stop to think about what you have to say before you say it. Even I, myself, have a problem with it.

So how does a person stop and listen to what they have to say before they say it? I suppose it's just habit. It's a habit that we all must break. Sometimes, one needs to realize that the words that are said must be, well, kind. The Golden Rule has been forgotten. "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Kind words aren't hard to say, but are definitely hard to find from a lot of people. Even if it's someone you can't stand or aren't chill with, I think your words could be that change in a person. What does it hurt being kind to people?

You know, words can determine life or death too. Sad to say, so many people have committed suicide due to hurtful words. How can humans shoot each other down so much? However, if you are a victim of hurtful words, how do you grow out of it? How do you get it out of your head? Well, even I am still trying to get hurtful words out of my head. Just let it in one ear and go out the other. Someone once told me "The things that don't kill you, will make you stronger." Stand strong. Stay strong against the things people say. However, be kind. Kindness needs to be passed on more often.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"I can get used to this..."

2009-08-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

(I think the best writing comes in the morning, btw)

You know, after many times of looking through old myspaces, old facebook comments...I've come to the conclusion. I'm fully healed. I'm happy. I'm 100% over so many things that have happened to me in which it has changed me for the better. Sure, I'm young. But I've had plenty of experiences that have hurt me emotionally and have made me cautious in ways that I wish that I would never hope to be. But you know, I look back at these people, these boys, these experiences, these situations and smile because I did it. I made it out & I'm happy. I'm strong. I'm driven. I am able to turn down these things and completely let go. I mean, it took me a long time ago but I can get used to this. I wake up with a smile because I know I'm no longer stuck in a situation that can hurt me or ruin my outlook on how I feel about life. I look at these boys that once hurt me and say "Good luck with yourself." I can look at old friends and say "I'm glad you're happy." PTL. I've never been happier to be living or been happier to be who I am today. So all you people who have hurt me, challenged me, let me down, disappointed me, mistreated me, played me, etc. PTL for you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the person I'm proud to be today. Let go and Let God. Peace.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"For me, mine is huge..."

2009-08-30T16:38:00.001-07:00

House. Defined as a place you live. A place you reside. A place that holds all your junk. A place that people live in. How many houses have you had? Okay okay, I see you're catching on. Hahaha, I tried to make it so metaphorical and so deep sounding in the beginning. On the real though, how many times can you say you've lived in a HOUSE and not a HOME?

Every single day, after a long day of work, school, whatever it is that we do during the day, we go back to what you would call...a HOUSE. Maybe you don't live in a house. Maybe you live in an apartment. Maybe you live in a condo. Maybe you live in a dorm. Or maybe, you don't have a place to live per say. But somehow, you have a place to reside when you finish your day off. This, my friends, is what you would call a house (or place of rest, those of you who are nit-picky about my use of the word)

But inside this house is what? Furniture. A laptop with Facebook, Gmail, Blogspot & Pandora all open at the same time. People. Not just any people, right? People that you call, family, perhaps friends, or even family friends. But, you don't live alone. Do you? If you said yes, you have neighbors. You're not alone, silly. So you live with your family. What constitutes family for you? People who pay for all the things you need/want/desire. People who gave birth to you & consistantly nag you for everything. People who steal your clothes & uses things without asking you. People who yell all the time because of something so minute. If you see it this way, you, my friend, need to relook at your family & see exactly why you were placed on this Earth with this certain family. Whomever they are, it's amazing what plans the big man upstairs has for you with this family. Now this, is what you can call...a HOME.

You know, blood family doesn't have to be THE family. Maybe your family consist of people you're not even related to. Maybe your family consists of step-whatevers or foster-whatevers. But you know, the love and the care that is brought to your family is the most beautiful thing that is given by the family. Sure you may not see it now, but when you take a step back and look at everything and not consider the words "me" or "i" then you'll see. You'll see what I'm talking about.
For me, mine is huge. It consists of many people that I consider my family. I've got my blood relatives, my brothers and sisters in the community, my friends within Barkada, my longtime friends from high school or longer, my dorm friends. You know, there's just too many to name. My family is what backs me up whenever I need help. My family is the only people I know who won't trade their loyalty to the family for something so unimportant & selfish. My family are the only people I know who will give me advice on things I need to know. I love my family. No matter how much arguing there may be. No matter how much blood, sweat & tears go into my family. No matter how many times I can say "#$@% YOU FOR BEING SO IRRATIONAL". My family knows me, they care for me, they provide for me, they respect me & most importantly, they love me. Take a second to look back at your family, blood, immediate, & extended family. Peace.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"Not romantically but obsession wise."

2009-08-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

My attempt to vent out upon a blog that has no particular way of judging me has appealed to me in so many different situations in which I am able to let go and let my thoughts run, not abiding by any forms of regulation. In short, thank you blog for existing as I vent every single time something bothers me or I'm exploding with happiness. Either way, I'm glad to have something I can always write to whenever I feel like it.

You know, I don't have very pet peeves. I don't have very many things that annoy me or make me mad. Or even piss me off for that matter. Those of you who know me can generally say that I'm a happy person. I don't like to be part of drama, I don't like to hurt people on purpose. I am just your average girl who just likes to be happy and fun with everyone that I can. However, you piss me off, swear, you'll realize that I'm pissed off and you won't wanna do it again.

The one thing that gets me most are people who are ignorant and inconsiderate. That includes selfishness & attention-getting. How many people are like that in the world? Plenty. Even my friends are like this. You know, I'm not one to call someone out on the internet, but my friends are. You know those AIM statuses or Facebook statuses, Twitter, etc. Really now, in the words of Mushu from Mulan, "Say it to my face, you limp noodle!" What bothers me most is when they are so engulfed with their own unhappiness that they try to bring others down. Forreal though, you gotta problem...handle it yourself! Don't involve people that are happy on their own. I understand that you need a place to vent, but the internet is NOT where you call someone out.

I find this rather ironic that I'm writing about this online. (Secret laugh) But then again, there's a lesson to this, I promise.

When people post up their feelings online, they're looking for attention. Maybe not so much, but they want people to know, which essentially is getting attention. Agreed? So you're wanting to start drama if you put up a status concerning someone else that other people know about. You're waiting for someone to say "What happened?" or "what's up with your status?" Forreal dough, not many people are gonna ask because they're smart enough to know that it's drama. You got dramatic friends? Go tell them. IN PERSON or IN PRIVATE. Not all over the internet.

You know, since the internet was created, it's been a blessing AND curse. I can find anything I want online, which is a pro. I can find anything I don't want online, which is a con. Lately, when it comes to relationships with people, friends, family...I find out things that I, personally, do not attain to or rather agree with. For that matter, I find myself somewhat put down by certain people. Which brings me to the idea: What the HELL did I do to you!? Basically, what do you want me to do? Go down at your feet and say "I'm sorry for being so happy!" HELL to the NO. Forreal. Like, I don't mean to make this a specific rant, but you can agree with me, yes?

So we've agreed we've all felt this way. How do I solve it now? Well, if you're not gonna come to my face, then I'm gonna go to yours. If your friendship is worth it (in my case, ALL my friendships are worth it.) then you be the bigger, more mature person. I know I kinda sound like a hypocrite writing about it now, but actually I just wanted to get my feeling out (whether you see it or you don't) and help others who feel the same way. I think that if that person is really writing about you all over the internet, they're really exploiting how much they're in love with you. Not romantically but obsession wise. Like Mariah Carey says "Why you so obsessed with me?" Hahahahah. Makes me wanna sing the song. No lie. But on the real. I guess that's what needs to be done. Besides, if you know you didn't do anything or aren't guilty of anything for them to REALLY be mad at you about, then whatever. They can say whatever they want about you or complain all they want, but in the end, who's really the most unhappy person? They are.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Ps. Sorry for the lack of pictures. I swear, next post will have pictures! [:

"It's not quite a marriage...""

2009-08-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm so inspired. A mixture of Melissa Polinar and Jeremy "Passion" has brought me so many thoughts into my head. You know, I just want to say that I am so happy to admit to myself that I have my heart so well protected and looked out for by someone so amazing. Someone so special. Like, as Melissa Polinar writes "Here's my heart. Here's every part of me. I give it away and I'm here to stay."How beautiful. How amazing to make me inspired to feel the way I do. I'm not in love, no, not yet. But I am happily cared for in such a way that I can no longer express through words. Passion's lyrics are so beautiful..."As long as you wait for me, please save a space for me." You know, I just have his song on repeat for myself.

I have so much inspiration to make something work. I have so much inspiration to just let something strive. Something that means so much to me. I'm young, but that's what I'm thankful for. The youth that I do have, is what makes me realize how much I've got to learn from someone and others around me. Things are so amazing. I don't even know how to express in any more words the amazing feeling that I have been blessed with.

Sometimes I question whether or not I have my heart out in my hand. Whether or not I'm living into the moment than thinking about the future. I'm not looking to get married. I'm not looking for a lifelong relationship just yet. But you know, as I told my mom today, " I'm not looking for a marriage relationship. But you know, if God allows, I'm more than okay with being with that person for a really long time." "Honey, we'll make it."

I'm not writing to say how mushy love I feel right now. But I just want to write about how amazing I feel inside. I sit here and shake my head with a huge smile on my face as I write. I feel as though these expression of words does not even compare to the feeling that I have on my heart and mind. Maybe it's the giddy talking, but also I'm just so inspired. I'm inspired to treat him so differently. I'm inspired to be the best that I can be. I owe him this much to be true and honest with him.

So why do I feel the urge just to write about my loving feeling I have in my system in this blog you may ask? Well, you know I look back on all the relationships, all the boys that have come and gone in the past and I realize...I'm so immature. I thought of the title "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" as just a name. But, it's more than that. It's a commitment to knowing that you've singled yourself out for that one special person. It's not quite a marriage, but it's on the way towards that. If you don't agree, then you're not on the right track with the idea of dating. I feel like, I've been so inspired so much by people that I hold so dearly in my heart. I believe that the guarding of my heart that I've had ever since "I kissed dating goodbye" has taught me the most important lesson of all: Patience. To wait for the biggest happiness that only God can grant when it comes to romantic love. Learn to love yourself before you can love others. Love the idea of unconditional love.

It's crazy. I feel as though many young people out there should know and believe that relationships aren't something that one should take lightly. There are those out there who feel like, "Why doesn't girls/guys like me?" or "Why aren't I noticed?" or "People say I'm such a good catch....but why am I single?" You know, I really can answer that for you. Being a good catch doesn't mean that you're meant for all guys/girls out there. You're someone so amazing and so special that you actually are meant for that one special person. "Why hasn't that person found me?" you ask? Well, it's not time for you. Patience is a beautiful virtue. It teaches one to learn to love what they have. It teaches one to treasure what they own. I am a victim of this quote myself. But it took me so long to realize that I am only made for one person.

To truly care about someone, you think of them before yourself. Elementary right? Sometimes, many people don't see this. Selflessness. That's the beauty of any relationship. How many people can say that they can allow someone to do what they desire? Not even myself. I'm guilty of being selfish. However, that's a lesson that all people should learn. To be selfless, is to first be patient. I guess the point of the whole blog is patience.

But going back to this wonderful feeling that is being held within my little 5'4'' body. How can someone like me, who knows about my past, be blessed with someone who can inspire me so much, someone who can teach me new things about myself and life, someone who can guide me with words of advice and listen to me, someone who can treat me with such respect and holds his own moral standards, someone who holds me high above all things that can pull me down, someone who encourages me to do things that I hold myself back in, someone who teaches me more about God every single day, someone who has always been one of my best friends for years, someone I can confide in and know that I will never be judged, someone who is my pastor, provider and protector and lastly, someone who can truly care about me and loves me unconditionally. I don't feel like I don't deserve him because he's so great, I feel like I finally deserve someone who can take care of me and hold me in check.

Sure, I could be living on cloud nine. I could be just happy and giddy from all the things that has been happening but you know, the most beautiful thing about what I write about...is that these descriptions are all descriptions of a brother and a best friend. Praise God. I still pray that God will continue to hold my heart truly. I pray that I will never give my heart fully away so that God can hold most of it where it should be. So many things I've learned and so many things I will continue to learn. I'm just so...awe-struck by how blessed I am. For real. May God be praised.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Sway.

2009-08-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ever had that feeling that you just wanna shout out "I LOVE LIFE!" You know, I feel that way every single day. I couldn't be happier. Actually, I could. I seem to be happier each and every single day of my life. Sure I started my year roughly. REALLY roughly. BUT you know, I am so lucky. I'm so lucky to have certain people in my life. I'm so lucky to be the way I am today. I'm so lucky to be loved. AHHHH...short post but, I LOVE LIFE! :D

And you, thanks so much for being you. Thanks so much for looking out for me & giving me advice always. Thanks for everything. I feel like I should say this more to you. [: But, thank you.

Thank you Tony Bennett for being the singer of my future wedding song. [:

M.I.A.

2009-08-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

Missing In Action.

MAN! It's really been a while since I've really blogged about something. [Puts Pandora on RnB/Soul mix]. Better. Way to get the mood in. So lately it's been a pretty crazy life of mine. You know, while I read some other people's blogs, I feel as though only MY life has been going great so far. I mean, I feel as though everything in my life should be there. So as I'm listening to this...I feel like I should write about something...specific. Hahaha.

So here's a question that I feel should be imposed upon many of the readers of this blog: How do you celebrate one's birthday? Do you think birthdays are just a commercial holiday and that people make them more than they really are? Is it more than just a free day inside of Disneyland or 8 free tokens at Chuck E Cheese's? Is it more than just having a party and everyone knowing that you're turning a year older? Is it more than purchasing someone a present that is worth $200 as opposed to someone who just buys things at the dollar tree and decorating the celebrant's room?

Since when were birth-days of buying expensive gifts? Since when were birth-days exposed as how rich or how popular one is by the amount of gifts one gets? Whatever happened to heartfelt messages of good luck and good health? Hahaha, I know this sounds super old-fashioned. But it's rather true. Notice, the older you get, the less a birth-day becomes important. I don't mean to say that in such a negative vibe, but is it not the truth? Once you actually turn 21, the youth of your life is basically over. Once you turn 18, you realize that you can go to jail for things that you never knew you could go to jail for. Once you turn 40, you're considered "over the hill" and you're about ready to, to put in morbid terms, die. Once you turn 25, you're considered a quarter life old. MAN! Birth-days are a crazy concept, no? I don't mean to make it sound so sad. Hahah. But actually the reason of this post is to describe the reality of HOW one can celebrate one's birthday in a heartfelt/meaningful way in which no one has to worry about the "age" in which one may turn.

So spending a million dollars on a person may seem like they're worth it. However, what's a handwritten letter & maybe a hug worth? An Ipod, Iphone, drum set, new car, etc. How much will these things make you happy? HELLA happy right?! It would make me happy, don't get me wrong. But then again, if someone wrote me a letter or did something out of the ordinary that didn't require $100 would make me smile even bigger. Sometimes people need to see the real meaning of what it means to be born. "I thank you for being born this day because without you in my life..." How beautiful. If I got a letter like that, oh man. I would feel like I really mattered to this person. Instead of material thinking (however, being human, everyone would love this.) maybe thinking about WHY this person was born in your life would be a better show to them on how much they've impacted your life. Maybe they were put in this world for a reason for you. Maybe they're someone who will save you from something. Maybe they're someone who could change your life. There is no "Chance" that someone was just born in your life for no reason. So, as the greatest birthday present, tell someone how their birth was important in your life.

So, my birthday is in 17 days. August 22. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Unconditional love.

2009-07-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

"If anyone says "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

1 John 4: 20-21

Beautiful passage. Every single CFC-Youth member near and far, especially back home for me should read this. Don't pray tonight for yourself, but rather listen to Him speak to you. He's actually got a lot to say.

The Closer I Get To You

2009-07-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

"Over and over again I try to tell myself that we could never be more than friends. And all the while inside I knew it was real. The way you make me feel."

This song is really great. It's got some of the truest lyrics that I've ever heard. All I can say is that when I heard this song, it's all that was playing in my head. All I could do was smile and say "Wow." Who would've known that something could make me smile like this?

You know, there's a whole lot I could say. But I guess I'll just save it for another day. All I can truly say is that I've never been so happy. I've never felt the way I feel I do now. As corny and as cheesy as you might be saying as you read this, I really am blessed & happy. I don't know where else I could vent all this happiness to. Most of the things I write about are unhappy things. Or things that people should realize. However, I never really let myself just write about how I'm feeling or what's on my mind truly. How perfect things have been lately. How all my "ducks are in a row". How captivating a person could be by what they LOVE the most, what their priorities are. I can't help the way I feel, but I can only protect it & treat it right. Right?

Oh, how blessed I am to have such a great friend who I can turn to at whatever time of day. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful person to keep me on the path of staying close with what's most important in my life? How blessed I am to have someone who is the most respectful person that I've ever met? How blessed I am to have someone who can be that Pastor, Provider & Protector. God, thanks so much for giving me this little bit of happiness. I only say a little bit because I know You have more planned for me and my life. AHHH! Happy. This blog is rather gross with all this happiness, but hey...you decided to keep reading. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Keep it comin' Charlie, I'm on a roll today.

2009-07-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those feelings that something feels SO right. Something feels like it needs to be where it needs to be? Ever feel like everything is so right in the world at this very moment? Have you ever had that moment where nothing could get in the way? Ever felt like nothing is impossible? That you could overcome anything that tries to push you away from this feeling?
I've had this feeling. I had this excitement of knowing that everything is just so right. I had this feeling that every person who should be in my life right now is. I felt like all the people I needed to weed out are weeded out. I felt like all the problems that were within my reach are no longer arms-length. I felt like I could just get everything I could ever need and want.

However, there is a slight problem. My conscience. There IS that something that holds me back from achieving full happiness. I can be so happy and all of a sudden, it's gone. In an instant. Ever feel like you HAVE to let something that makes you ridiculously happy go to look out for someone else who is someone you really care about. Two things you love....up for someone else. Lose something that would make me happy for a long time, maybe forever & keep a friendship or lose that friendship & keep that happiness. What if the friendship is deteriorating? What if they friendship has always been a tough one?

Is it right be happy in turns for a deteriorating friendship? Is it wrong to want something for once? Don't I get a choice in this? Don't I get to be happy? Is what I'm choosing selfish or is the fact that I can't be happy selfish on the part of someone else? Defending my own happiness seems null and void. What's the right choice? Maybe this friendship isn't worth it? Maybe this happiness isn't worth it? All I know is that I'm stuck between it. What does a person do at a time like this?

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Oh Summer.

2009-07-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

You've been so good to me. I must say though, I have only a few months left to finish everything I planned for the Summer & I'm no where near close. Well, even though it's already July, things have been going great lately.

- Got a job.
- Active again in YFC.
- Got back into reading for fun.
- Updated my Ipod
- Visited Katie & Kevin back in Pomomo.

However, I still didn't get to do plenty of other things:
- Visit NORCAL-ians.
- Finish the Harry Potter series.
- LOST MY GOAL WEIGHT.
- Roadtripped.

There's plenty more. But, eh. I'll do it. I promise I will. Well, about the NORCAL trip...it might not happen. UGH! We'll see. Anyway, let's keep Summer the best thing I've had all year.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Shhh...bring it down.

2009-07-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

After watching countless Disney movies, I've realized...I forgot what it was like to be a kid. I'm raised to be someone who has to go to school and learn for my future. I'm raised to be someone who will have my dream job at my hands. I'm raised to be someone who has to network for what I want. I'm raised to be someone to get a job, make money & be happy with the pay that I have.
Since when did things like this ever stop me from remembering that not all lessons can be learned from books or from school. There are those life long lessons that you learn from just experience. Like how things were back in elementary school, where I could just play with toys & meet random people in the sandbox. Or when I could just say "Daddy, you're the best driver!" and get a toy. However, when I say that, my dad looks at me and says," Danielle, you're lame."

Sometimes we forget that we do have a kid on the inside of us. There is a kid that still loves Disney. There is a kid that still loves Transformers. There is still a kid that loves Thundercats (too old? Hahah). Once in a while, let the kid inside you play. He/she could be growing up way too fast.

Live life one step at a time. If you put too much on your plate, then that's where your future will get screwed up & everything you worked for will go to waste. Enjoy life's blessings & give the kid in you a Wall-E robot or a Transformer. [:

--Danielle Delos Reyes

I've gotta feeling...

2009-07-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night..

Every day's been a good good day & every night's been a good good night. You said you read the girl you like's blog to see if the girl you like ever writes about you...here it is. [: Thanks for a great day today. I just hope for more days to come like this. You're wonderful. :D

If all days could be like this. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Knock you down.

2009-07-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

We were never meant to be but baby we just happened.

I never thought I'd be in love like this. When I look at you my mind goes on a trip.

- God-loving.
- Sweet.
- Caring.
- Driven.
- Willing.
- Wonderful.
- Thoughtful.

So much more. Thanks for making me smile everyday. [:

She is the true meaning of JOY.

2009-07-02T22:48:00.001-07:00

Funny how people come into your lives and you never realize how much of an impact someone has made on you until something drastic happens. Upon sitting with my family at the dinner table, we get a call: Grandma Joy (My great aunt) has passed away at 10am in the Philippines. Just this morning, my dad was telling me that we would have to go to the Philippines next week on such short notice to support the family and pay our respects to our grandma who took such great care of us. I agreed to it since I haven't seen that family since I was about 6 years old. It would be good to go back home and say hi to everyone again. However, I didn't get this chance to do so. She is in such a better place now. I know she's in Heaven. She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend, a caregiver and a wonderful person all around. She was someone who I had very much respect for even as a young little Danielle. I know she's looking down at me and my family and watching over us. She was such a beautiful lady and such a loving grandmother to us. She was one of those old ladies who sat in the rocking chair and wore her Moo-Moo. She was a cute little lady. She babysat us and even family friends' kids. She always played Chinese Checkers and was GOOD at it. She always called me "Miss Universe" saying that I was one of the most beautiful girls she's ever seen. How gracious of her to say something like that and telling me that I was someone who WAS beautiful in someone's eyes. She was such a special lady in my life and I'm sure the rest of my family's. She will be missed. Grandma Joy, I love you and I hope you're enjoying it up there with Lucky & Michael Jackson playing the game you are so great at, Chinese Checkers. Take care of us as you always have.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Complete vent.

2009-06-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Right now, I hate my summer. I'm flat broke. I'm super upset about the new car situation where I have to pay for part of the insurance & the newly added damages to our already damaged car. Finding a job is ridiculously hard in Bakersfield. My Norcal/Socal roadtrip is a definite NO for this summer as of tonight. As of right now, the looks on getting a new car is dunzo because of all that's been happening. Everything is going NOT the way I'd hoped. Please summer....change now.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

The Way You Make Me Feel.

2009-06-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson

August 25, 1958 - June 25, 2009.

A singer, dancer, humanitarian, role model, creator, musical producer, legend, pop icon, peace maker, hero, friend, father, brother and nonetheless an inspiration to the entire world. Upon hearing about his death, I turned on the radio to hear how much of an impact he has on this world, "When the world heard of his death, everyone in the entire world went on the internet: myspace, youtube, facebook, twitter, etc. that the internet almost crashed." That's amazing. His death was such a huge impact on me. I felt like part of my childhood has left me. I always thought he was going to live until I had kids and they were gonna know about him. It's interesting that those who don't like him, KNOW the words to his song. That's how great this man is. He will be missed by all his fans & people around the world. So long as his music is playing, he will continue to inspire and live on forever. I know when I'm older, I'm going to introduce my kids to Michael Jackson & they are going to love him as much as I do. I will forever have respect for this man & all he's done for the world.

RIP Michael Jackson, King of Pop.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Summer flings

2009-06-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Heheheheheh. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Shuffle.

2009-06-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, put your ipod on shuffle. You'll be surprised with what randomness comes up. It's nice to have something random come up, while at the same time you could get something you don't want. Even though you get what you don't want, you heard something new. Sometimes, something comes up that reminds you of someone that's made you sad or upset at one point of your life BUT you still listen to it and reminisce about those times. Sometimes you get something that reminds you of the old times but even though you wish those times were back, you were glad you've moved on 'cuz you've learned your lesson. Sometimes you get those songs that remind you what you were like back in the day. Sometimes, it shows what kind of maturity you've grown into.

just like with an Ipod...

Once in a while, put your life on shuffle. You'll be surprised with what randomness comes up. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Back from the dead.

2009-06-22T00:40:00.000-07:00

CFC-Youth, I'm back.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Disney-Pixar.

2009-06-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

You know, some of the best movies I've ever watched has come from Disney-Pixar movies. Ever notice the lessons they leave you?

Monster's Inc. - Don't judge a book by its cover. There are more to life than just glory.
Ratatouille - You're never too small to do what you love.
Cars - Never forget the people who support you and have always supported you in your life.
Finding Nemo - Family will do whatever it takes to take care of you and have you in their arms again.
Meet the Robinsons - You are never too young to make your dreams come true.
Toy Story - Jealousy gets you no where.
Toy Story 2 - People always deserve a second chance.
The Incredibles - Teamwork and family will always succeed against all odds.
A Bug's Life - Never get taken advantage of; you can always refuse anything if it's unfair.
Wall-E - Take care of those you love. Love will conquer all.
Up! - Adventure is what you make of it; it's the journey you have in reaching your goals and dreams.

If only people looked at these lessons, the world would be a better place. [:
Now time to finish watching Monster's Inc. & Ratatouille tonight. Let's learn some lessons, shall we?

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Finished.

2009-06-13T19:25:00.001-07:00

Wow, my first year of college is...done. Holy S%*$! I can officially say, I'm a second year in college. WHAT THE! Man, this year went by so fast. The one thing I regret though, is having such SUCKY grades. UGH! I'll fix it next year. I promise. Next year's grades are what's going to determine the year and how much involvement I'm going to have in the club I love so much. There's so much that has gone on all year. All I have to say is that, I don't regret anything...well a few. BUT if they didn't happen, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I must say, there's a lot for myself that I have to improve, but I'm proud of myself. I'm proud for surviving a hard year. You know, I've met so many people who have changed me to become a stronger person. I've also met so many people who have brought me down. However, every lesson is learned regardless of person.
I think that it's not only one person who has changed me, but rather a whole group of people. This is why, I love my two families away from own family here at home.

Living in Palmitas with a whole different group of people is like coming home to a family. They're always around and different people are home at random times. It's good coming back to people you can borrow stuff from or go to if you're feeling upset. Most importantly, support. Everyone just wants you to be happy and be close. We all take care of eachother, like a family. Palmitas...is like my mom's side of the family.
Barkada, is my dad's side of the family. The place where I get my personality from. Party, fun, culture, inspiration, drive, love. Everything that my personality grows from. It's good to have something like both sides of my REAL family. The two together is create my home away from home.

Graduates, I just want to say it was a real pleasure getting to know each and every single one of you. You have inspired me to shoot for the best in my academics as well as a love for my culture. You have showed me that everything is possible in college no matter how crazy it gets. Each one of you has showed me that anyone can do anything if you really focus. And most importantly, each one of you has helped me in one way or another in something & I can only thank you so much for it all. Best of luck for your futures and hopefully, I'll get to inspire you for something amazing one day.

2008-2009, You have been just fine. No matter what I went through this year, nothing can change how much I've learned. Regardless of whether or not I did as well as I would hope in all aspects of my academics, extra-curriculars, etc. I learned something new every single day. Next year will be different. Not a bad different, but rather a meaningful one. I can already feel it.

In the meantime, it's summer. Let's do this. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Please don't worry about me I'm fine...

2009-06-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

Go on girrrrrl. Go on girrrrrl.

So, it's been one whole day...HAHA...just a day and I'm already feeling this way. It's so hard. It's hard to listen to everyone talk about this all..what am I talking about? Barkada E-board. You know, it breaks my heart every single time I think about this. It breaks my heart everytime I HEAR about it. You know, people say that it's probably harder for those who ran but lost...nothing beats the pain of regret. I sit here listening to them talk about how excited they are. Don't get me wrong, I would be extremely excited if I was on board this year. All my friends are on the board and it's just awesome to see them so happy. I just feel so...jealous. I feel rather left out when I think about it. Why? Because all they talk about is what they're gonna do to bond. Then when I ask one of them to not forget about me and make time for me (jokingly of course), and he says "Of course I will! I will always make time for members!" Ouch. I'm more than a member. I'm your friend. What ever happened to you can still be friends? I mean, they talk about E-board being a clique. I just hope you guys can change it because I'm already starting to feel it since most of my friends are on it. It's just hard to be the only one of your closest friends to not be on board. How else can I put it? I'm jealous. I'm not gonna lie. I'm so jealous. I just wish I could do what I want...but my heart is telling me to do what I need. *Sigh* Decisions I have to make, choices I have to choose from, aches I have to heal from. One day...it'll be my time. But I won't make my friends just regular people that I overrule.

--Danielle Delos Reyes

This week's to-do list.

2009-06-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

1. Move out of my dorm.
....pack up all clothes, books, computer stuff, beddings, memories.
2. Take pictures with everyone here in Palmitas.
....2nd floor friends, 3rd floor friends & 1st floor boys. [:
3. Go to Disneyland one more time before school ends.
....Tuesday with Palmitas & Friday with Barkada.
4. Pass all 4 finals.
....Animal & Veterinary Science, Trigonometry, U.S. History & Statistics.

Doesn't sound like much. But it's all time-consuming. New blog update with my life tomorrow.

Shining Star

2009-06-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be just like Mario when he gets the shining star....

INVINCIBLE.

Julian Doloroso - Live Life (Original)
I have such talented friends. [:

Braveface.

2009-06-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

"I put on a brave face everytime I see you when you're with her" - Melissa Polinar "Braveface"

You know, every girl wants to be well-liked. Every girl wants to feel that special someone next to them. What girl doesn't want her hand to be held or that everlasting hug that everyone is envious of? So why do we us girls always question ourselves of why we're not good enough for someone? It's an interesting life we all have. Girls are competitive. Each and every single girl wants to be better than another. Especially if it's a girl who is getting attention by someone we admire most. But how can one be able to say, "You know what, I'm better than this. I don't need a man." Where do we women feel that confidence to say this? I don't think men understand what women go through every time they see us. Every girl looks into the mirror at one point and says, "I'm not good enough." Every girl at one point writes down all the things that are wrong with her. Every single girl questions herself and her own self identity.
But why? Why do we girls do things like that? Why do we all put ourselves down? It's because we are insecure. We don't trust ourselves to be beautiful. We don't allow ourselves to believe that we are something special because of a few rejections here and there. But you know what? God doesn't make ugly. We all have to believe is that we are all special and we are all different. We can't compare ourselves to girls in Cosmo, Vogue, or even our very own friends. We have to know and believe that we all have different talents and we are all beautiful in different ways. Every time we see that guy with that girl, we wonder "What's she got that I don't?" You know, it could be a lot of things, then again, it could be nothing. But why isn't he talking to you? I don't have an exact answer for that. Maybe it's not your time to be noticed. Maybe he's not the one you're destined to be with. Maybe he's just not for you. Maybe the timing is all wrong. Either way, you can't let yourself believe that it's all YOUR fault. Sometimes, things are just out of hand and you have to keep going with your head up knowing that you are someone who deserves someone who can keep up with what you believe, what you enjoy and what you love.
Maybe you'll find someone who isn't your other half, but rather someone who can complement you rather than complete. Don't shoot yourself down for being shot down. Live it, learn it, love it. Getting over something is hard but not learning from it is harder. Never question that you're not worth something for someone. If you have to ask yourself if you're good enough for someone, then you don't belong in a relationship yet. Before you can be in one, you have to love yourself first. No one can love you in place of loving yourself. Remember that regardless of how ugly, how fat , how untalented, how unworthy you think you are, you are BEAUTIFUL in someone's eyes. Where is this person now? It's up to you to wait, believe, and trust that this person is waiting for you, just like you're waiting for him. In time, when you can love yourself, you can love someone else. When you can say that you're beautiful because you are who you are, you can bounce back into the dating game. But for now, allow yourself to love YOU. You deserve it. And trust, you're not the only one who loves you for you every single day.

& this, I tell myself in times like these.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Ever wonder...

2009-05-31T17:08:00.000-07:00

When certain people's blogs are about you?

....I do. Especially when they're reminiscing about love.

Or maybe, I could only be wishing or hoping they would be about me. All I have is a hopeful heart.

Best I ever had...

2009-05-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was so happy being back home with certain people. Being with these people make me realize that there's so much that I left behind. My little babies are heading off to college this fall & they're all graduating this week. I'm sad I can't be there to see their commencement but I hope they all know that I'm so proud of them & I just wish I could be there. You know, talking to them about where they're going is making me so excited for them. Benjammin is off to UC Irvine, Lea is off to Vanguard, Joe is off to...I'm not sure, I haven't talked to him (HAHAHA), Winna is off to somewhere, Conrad is off to UC Irvine. I'm going to miss my little babies! However, I'll be seeing Ben & Conrad often, I feel it. Hahah. It's going to be great having one of my favorite friends going to school near me.
Ben, I swear, that kid has so much ahead of him. He's such a good guy & I swear, if I hear some girl is breaking his heart, she's in for a big surprise from me. Bahaha, protective I am. So smart, so driven, so funny, so sweet. NO LIE, one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my entire life. DON'T EVEN DARE TO MESS WITH HIM. And my little Lea. On the real, she's like my little sister. I really hope for the best for her in whatever she wants for herself. She's so smart, talented, and awesome. I can't wait to hear her stories from her first year of college when we all start again in the fall. MAN. I feel so old. HAHAHA! I can't wait for the rest of our lives. I'm just so proud of them. *SIGH*
Memorial weekend. All I can say, it's more like a MEMORABLE weekend for me. Just some great moments which made me remember why I love my friends from back home AND why I had feelings for certain people. PRRRRRRRRRRRRT! ;D

I've missed my family being all together. Just like my dog missed hers. [:

Oh Summer. I can't wait for you to come.

As much as I love being at school, I love having the feeling of being wanted back home. I don't have to try to fake being friends with anyone here. AND I don't have to worry about impressing people or feel unwanted around people. It's a sweet life back home. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Lack of a better post.

2009-05-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

How much can you write about? You know reason why I haven't written or updated in so long is because I've kept myself occupied from something I'm scared of most. However, it's been a pretty good long few weeks. Busy with school, music, projects, lots of things are keeping me from feeling sorry for myself. Which explains the happy nature I've tried to be in lately. What's my inspiration? Hard to say, but it's actually nothing. I've just been trying to exist with a happy smile. Fake? Not at all, just living looking for a happy inspiration to keep me shooting high. Like what Katie said "Sometimes, you need a crush to help you exceed more than just bare minimum." Which is true. I mean, when I had my crush, I woke up everyday & dressed nicer than just sweats and a white v-neck so that just maybe, he'd take a second look at me, I did well on tests because I wanted to show that I was good at something so that if anything, I could help him study, I learned certain songs that so that we could jam together.
Hahahaha. Oh how kawawa this all sounds. But for a lack of better words, I tried to impress him which in the end turned out to be a waste for a future relationship BUT it made me a better person. It made me happy and I shot for the top. I'm not saying I'm not trying to now, but it was easier when a crush was around. Regardless, it's all good in the hood. Not like I'm looking for sympathy but rather, a place I can go to for ventilating.

So for now, I'm going to put all my feelings in one place & throw it back up to where it belongs because if it were meant to be, it would be. Yeah?

So E-board elections are tomorrow. How heartbreaking is this? I don't think people understand how hard this is for me to watch all of this happen and not be a part of it. I didn't want it for glory at all. Like I was telling Ermie, "I wanted to join this e-board and offer the talents and gifts that I have to make this Barkada group a better group. Everyone wants to give back what Barkada has done for them, but not only do I want to give back what Barkada has given me, but I want to give more to show my appreciation of how much Barkada has actually changed my life." Glory? Definitely not. I don't think Barkada is my life, but rather my 2nd family. I'll hate it at times, but I love it regardless. There are people I just can't seem to get along with, but it's not like I hate them. There are those weird people that you can't help but just laugh at because they're so awkwardly cool. It's a huge family, filled with drama, support, care, but most importantly: Love. Being in Barkada is a whole new experience. It's a great networking system, it's a great support system and it's a great way to learn more about culture, life, businesses. I just want to make the group that made ME a better person, an even better group for others to gain from. If I were running...this would be in my speech. *Sigh*
Good luck E-board 2009-2010. You'll be great. Know you've got a handful of people who would still love to help you out if ever the going gets tough.

A few days ago, I wanted to write so much about how sad I was or how ANGRY I was because of certain things, but for some random reason, I feel like it's unnecessary. It makes me an angry person. It makes me a sad person. It makes me someone that I don't want to be portrayed as. But thing is, I don't feel this way so much. I don't feel mad at anyone or sad at anyone. Jealous still, perhaps but it doesn't mean I hate you or that I'm out to get you. I just want people to like me for who I am. I just hope that people are accepting of what I want for myself as I accept what you want for yourself. I hope people aren't fake when it comes to being my friend because in all honesty, I'd rather you NOT be my friend than fake it. I just want to be on good terms with everyone because I'm not trying to be fake with anyone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not trying to show you that I'm so cool or whatever. Just to clarify everything, I just want to be friends with people. I just want to enjoy my life with people I love. If you don't want to be part of it, then fine. Let's mature up and leave the junior high/high school act behind.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Sunny days, chasin' the clouds away...

2009-05-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I'm definitely on my way to where the air will be sweet-ER. You know, things for some reason are brightening up for me. And I really like it. It's kind of about time for me. Things were at a low, then an amazing high then, then a really low and now it's slowly ascending up to a better high. For sure, if you really DO close one door, another door will open up for you. I believe it now. Although it hurts, it's just like I have plenty to keep my occupied. I'm going to make a TO-DO list before I graduate college...I guess that's the thing to do now. But I realized I really should or else I'll just be dilly-dallying with my college life. SO! Give me a few days. I'll come up with it. :D

In other words...

future husband. I know. We don't know it yet, but we're gonna be together for the res of our lives. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

From heartache to heartbreak, for goodness sake.

2009-05-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I just want to thank everyone who gave me advice. I really appreciate all the words you've given me. So here's what I've been given..

- just tell him. you never know what could happen.
- sometimes getting your heartbroken is how you can learn for someone who could be better.
- heartbreak is always part of it. would you rather have those moments of happiness and end it in with your heart broken or just never try and always wonder if you DID try harder would it could end up totally different?
- if you really feel that you shouldn't say anything, then don't. you feel that you're not ready and you shouldn't force yourself to do so.
- Be friends, get to know him even better than you do now. Just continue to be there. When he's ready, he will take that step and then you can take things to another level then.

Well update on how I feel: the reason why I felt this way, I learned, is because I never knew how he felt. I never knew what his thoughts were or feelings towards me. But, after talking to someone who is close to him, I got what I wanted most. I now know how he feels about me. Let's just say it isn't reciprocated. But you know, I'm actually okay with that now. I can now get over him better because I know what I wanted to know. But it doesn't mean I can't stop being friends with him. Turns out, he knew how I was feeling and he started to already step back. Which honestly, wasn't too great of a move but it's alright. I just want to keep him in my life as my friend than anything else. The only thing I didn't like about how this all turned out is my jealousy for someone else who is now having the same amount of attention I used to have. You can see it in all things public. The part that hurts is that she even knows how I feel and it's kind of like "Why aren't you doing anything to stop it? You know how I feel about him? How could you let me down?" But question is, how can I be selfish and only think of myself? You know, here's what I've finally admitted...whatever makes you happy, will literally make me happy. I just want the best because you are the best and if I'm not the best for you, then I hope you do find that person. Time to pick up my slack and move on. Danielle, you didn't give up or continue to just keep chasing pavements...you're walking off the pavement and onto the streets in hopes of getting back onto the road. It'll be a hard time to take in everything and to get over it all especially when I'm around him BUT I'll be okay. I always end up being okay. When all hope fails, tomorrow will always be a brighter day. Thanks everyone.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Ain't no story of heartaches and pains

2009-05-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

Boys, guys, men.

"I need a man."..."I want a boyfriend."..."I want a real man."..."I love boys."

These statements are what make the realization of what you really want...more of a lack of reality. There are way too many girls out there who desire for a relationship. Especially girls of a young and youthful age. Sure we all feel like we want to be liked by a guy or even get attention from but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen tomorrow. Here's the thing...I feel like it's been the end of the world for me just recently. You know how when you're single, you make this list. This list is a list of standards of what kinda guy/girl you want, what qualities they must have, what you want them to be like. You're dream guy/girl. I have a list (I must admit, it's ridiculously long. Haha). But not only do I have a list...I have met someone with every little thing that is completed on this list in perfection. How often does this happen? NOT VERY. It's been the most ridiculous past few months with my feelings and this guy. This guy is..amazing. He has all of it. He has all of this and more! It's like, he popped out of list out of no where. Honestly. It's a new feeling for me. When he described his perfect girl, it's like..."I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU DESCRIBED ME!" (with all conceitedness aside). I've never felt this way about someone before. We actually hit it off pretty well. It was like we were heading in the right direction for a relationship. Everyone could see it. We were both happier when we were together. We were together a lot. We'd show up to events together. It seemed like we both had feelings for eachother but we didn't tell eachother that. But here's what happened...things started to change. It felt like all of a sudden, this lack of feeling just left..not from me, but from him. This is actually one of the things I'm scared of. R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N. I'm scared to let someone into my life to feel like I'm being used. I'm scared of disappointment that things are going to 180 around from happiness. This is where it seems to be heading. Heading straight for heartache and heartpain. This time, I have no advice for myself. I have nothing to say for myself so I'm going to ask you: How would you deal with this?

Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

--Danielle Delos Reyes

My family's role is so important...

2009-05-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

I never really realized how my family is so awesome. Like, not just my immediate family but my relatives from my dad's side and from my mom's side. It's really cool how we're all growing up and we decide to find each other on blogspot, facebook, etc. My cousins that I always thought were so much older than me, actually have a lot in common with me. Honestly, it's so awesome how much I can relate and talk to them. I love how we're closer than I think. I can only hope and wish this feud between families will end with US. Even if they're like 5-8 years older than me, we're all adults now and we can relate and connect in a way that we never could've when we were younger. How awesome! I just wanted to say, I love my family and I can't wait for family reunions in the future. It's gonna be a great one. --I'm a family oriented girl-- [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

I'm proud to be a FILIPINO-AMERICAN.

2009-05-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

So these past few days, I've never felt so much pride to be a Filipino-American. It's an accumulation of my very first PACN, Pacquiao winning against Hatton in 2:59 on Round 2, inviting a lot of my non-Filipino friends to enjoy some Filipino food, ETC. I've never felt so proud to be what I am today. I never thought that I would be understanding and learning more and more about the culture. I never thought I would LOVE every bit of the lessons and history of the Philippines. Honestly, my heart is truly learning what it means to be a Filipino. Just like what Lori had to write about in this year's PACN for Barkada, "Ikaw Pa Rin": What it means to be Filipino.

To my first years: THANKS SO MUCH! WE DID IT! Our first COLLEGE PACN! We had so much heart for this PACN and I know it for sure. Come on, look at the CAST! Frank: IAM Patrick Ocampo (FIRST YEAR), Manager: Kevin Hsu (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Francine: Zugey Kumagai (FIRST YEAR), Jun: Joseph DeJesus (FIRST YEAR), Chito: Jay Luzon (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Cara: Lauren Motis (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Rapist boys: Greg Natividad, Justin Nguyen (FIRST YEARS), Boy 1: Rico Pascual (FIRST YEAR), Emmerich: Karl Flores (FIRST YEAR), Fraternity boys: Charles Manabat (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Wonderkid: Shea Salinas (FIRST YEAR), Sara: Diane Yabut (FIRST YEAR), Rachel: Charlene Mag-Iba (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Francine's Posse: Danielle Delos Reyes (FIRST YEAR). I mean, come on guys! We are almost half of the entire cast! How awesome is it for us to have so much heart in this PACN! I can't even express my thanks to you guys for making my very first (maybe even yours as well) PACN the best I've ever had. Let's continue to shoot for the best & make the next few years the best we've ever had! Kasi, IKAW PA RIN (well, US). :D

This year's PACN is something very important for me. For my family to drive out here to Pomona (well Glendora) & watch their daughter & granddaughter perform something they used to perform when they were younger was touching to them, as they've told me. For my parents to go from "I don't trust Barkada" to "I like Barkada" is so important to me. It's like a relationship: I want my parents to approve. But it's not just that. This PACN was a lot of firsts for me. I've never danced a traditional Filipino dance before. I've never done Binisuan before. I've never danced Tinikling before. Not just that, I've never sang the Philippine National Anthem ever in my life. I've never known what the words were or what they meant. I've never spoken so much Tagalog in my life. I've never had a huge production like this before about CULTURE. For me to learn all of this in about 2-3 months is something so...breathtaking. To see everyone's passion in trying to get things together, to teach others how to dance, to teach people how to say words in Tagalog, to teach the WORDS of the anthem of our homeland. HOW PASSIONATE. Even though these are people's 3rd, 4th, maybe even 5th or more PACN, I think I can honestly say I have learned so much for this being my very first. Who cares if you've had PACN before, it's about what you learn EVERY PACN. It's about how much heart you give everytime. It's about what YOU put into it that will make it all worthwhile. Which is why for me, this PACN will always and forever be my favorite. Even though I don't have anything to compare it to, this is what changes my mind about so many things. For me to come from Bakersfield: NO Filipinos. NO culture. NO pride, to all of a sudden be bombarded with culture, it's amazing that I can't even take it all in at once! But it's so awesome. It's like eating Mango-Peach pies from Jollibee. You love it so much and you eat so much of it, but you're so full and you can't take anymore but you still keep eating! Okay bad analogy but this is how it feels. Not only do I love Barkada even more, but I love being a Filipino-American. I love my culture. I love being who I am and where I am today. Time to share and show what I've learned and am continuing to learn with the rest of the world with my head held high & a smile that says: I'm proud to be a Filipino-American.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Disappointment.

2009-04-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of it already. Like, especially those people who I assume to be my friends, people I look up to, people that I trust. I'm tired of having to realize that I shouldn't have trusted them in the first place. I'm tired of having to realize that all they really did was use me as a vessel to propel their own force of desire upon others. I'm tired of having to deal with people that get my hopes up for disappointment. I'm tired of learning that all the work I put into when doing things becomes just a failure at the end because I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I'm tired of getting hurt physically & emotionally. I'm tired of wondering what it would've been like if certain people didn't get in the way. I'm tired of having to disappoint people with other people's actions. I'm tired of not standing up for myself and my dignity. I'm tired of words that people say that damages other people. I'm tired of people who whine to get their way. I'm tired of being on the end of the losing side. I'm tired of not succeeding. I'm tired of always losing. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of people who are lazy & expect others to do things for them. I'm tired of people who don't work hard. I'm tired of people who expect something in return. I'm tired of people who don't care. I'm tired of oblivious people. I'm tired of feelings. I'm tired of romantic love. I'm tired of making wishes. I'm tired of making assumptions. I'm tired of people who put others down. I'm tired of being annoyed. I'm tired of being disappointed. I'm tired of being negative. I'm tired of hiding.

I'm just tired of it all & I'm ready to quit.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

To Do List.

2009-04-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. CATCH UP ON TRIG. GET HELP.
2. START STUDYING FOR AVS112
3. PAY ATTENTION IN HST202
4. DO STA120 HOMEWORK.
NO MORE SLACKING.

So as you can tell, I'm already slacking in school. CRAP. Trig is kicking my butt. Stats is so simple that I don't even wanna do the work for it because I already know it. Today is the first day I've stayed awake for my AVS112 class. I've only been to 1 history lecture out of like 4. EFF. I really need to start focusing. It's week 3 & I'm totally lost in trig. I'm 9.1/15 points in Stats. AVS112 is kicking my butt because of all the lectures that I don't understand about PIGS. & I don't even know what's going on in my history class. THAT'S IT. NO MORE SLACKING. NO MORE SAYING "IT'S OKAY, I'LL JUST DO IT TOMORROW BEFORE THE CLASS." Hell no. I need to learn this ish or else I'll be completely lost...like I am already.

anyway...
Time for something a little more inspiring.

"Forgiveness...is more than saying sorry." - Just Friends. If any of you have seen that movie, you can already tell what part I'm thinking of. I was actually singing it as I was writing. You know, there's a lot that people don't do in the act of forgiveness. A lot of it has to do with letting go. I, myself, have a hard time with this. I say I forgive, but I never forget. Which honestly, is okay. But in order to forgive someone, you have to be able to let go. Sure this person may have hurt you before but I'm sure you'd want to be forgiven & wanted to just start over. It's hard to, I understand. But only time can heal & all I can say is, there really is all the time in the world to heal and it all depends on how special your own friendship or relationship with that person was to you and how worth it it is. Well, I've gotta learn to forgive completely. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Lenten Promises.

2009-04-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

After reading many different people's blogs, I've realized that I have forgotten to write about what truly is most important to me to share with the rest of the world while I only share what is going on within my own world of everyday life. I concluded that I'm going to write about something inspirational every time I write a new blog. I'm going to write about something that will continue to give hope to others or better, say things that others are too scared to talk about but agree/disagree with. I'm going to continue to bring hope and light into the world with my writing and hopefully inspire others to write as others have inspired me to jot down my thoughts.

So Lent is coming to a close. 6 days to be exact which means 41 days of abstaining from my Lenten promises. But what's the real meaning of Lent? According to many of the priests that I have attended their masses have said that "Lent is a time of self-evaluation. A time to change heart. A time to look at oneself and evaluate how God will see you if and when you die." You know, that's an interesting statement. Many people give up things for Lent only to jump back onto it with excitement and eagerness of "FINALLY! I CAN DO THIS AGAIN!" Although Lent is supposed to make one grow in the spiritual aspect of life, it's also supposed to test one's self-control on material items that essentially hold back one's relationship with our Higher Being. I, myself, am one who has said this. After looking back at what I gave up, I have not fallen on 2 of the 3 things I have chosen to give up. But has this made me a better person? Well, I do one of the 3 things less (although I have broken it quite a few times). I can now learn to say no and choose to be responsible and do what's most important over what's more fun. I have been healthier in choosing what I eat. However, how has this made me a better CATHOLIC? Honestly, I'm not going to lie, it has not made me too much of a better Catholic. I have not done anything to make me a better person spiritually. I forget that Lent is supposed to also be about the spiritual side as well as physical endurance. Just because I haven't grown so much and Lent is over in 6 days, doesn't mean it's over and I'm going to stop. I'm going to continue to try to be a better person AND Catholic regardless of what I've given up, regardless of how I haven't done anything in particular to grow in my relationship with God. Lent has done what it was made to do for me...I am self-evaluated & I can truly say, I could grow a little more in every aspect of my life.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Inspiration.

2009-04-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

I'm INSPIRED. I am 100% completely inspired to shoot for what I can. I'm just gonna say right here. Right now. 2:47AM April 5th: I will shoot for the highest possible dream/goal I can. Nothing is going to stop me from getting what I want. [:

Short. Sweet. To the point. Inspirational.

Thanks for being the boost to my inspiration.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

HappYness.

2009-04-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

Dictionary.com:
Happiness –noun
1. The quality or state of being happy
2. Good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy

Wikipedia.com:
1. Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

Urbandictionary.com:
1. Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

How it's true. [:

I'm happy. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

S.I.C.K.

2009-04-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sweet life. I'm sick and it feels great. -__- NAHT. Man the first week of school has already been a crazy one. Filled with a lot of "I miss you!" and "Where have you been?!" It feels good to be back. [: Well PaCN is coming up in about 24 days. Stoked? You bet I am. I just wish that I could've been the part that I would've been NOW since I'm not even taking my hardest class, Chemistry. Couldn't even get into that class. EFF. So now I'm stuck with really spaced out classes. But I guess that's good if I can fit some homework-ing in. Anywho, enough about school. Let's move on to something more...insightful.

Inspiration. For some reason, I've been inspired. I've been inspired to sing (although I'm sick again and I sound HORRIBLE). I've been inspired to play all the instruments I can. I've been inspired to write. All I can say is, I have an inspiration to keep me going and keep me smiling for the next quarter and perhaps more. This inspiration has allowed me to be excited to go to school. Excited to be part of Barkada events. I have this inspiration to be assured that it's okay to be a kid inside again. I love feeling this way. I love having something to look forward to every single day. I love knowing that my inspiration will always be there regardless of anything. I'm just a happy girl again & I'm stoked about this quarter. Everything will be completely random but always in a good way. I love it! :D

PICTURE TIME! (filled with OLD and NEW pictures. Enjoy!)

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Spring Break.

2009-03-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

Man oh man. Spring break has been a blast. BUT, I am glad to be back surprisingly. I miss a lot of my friends back here. I miss the spontaneity of the people here. I miss my Palmitas family a lot too. Let's recap Spring Break, shall we?

DISNEYLAND. Tons and tons of Disneyland fun. Thursday. Saturday. Sunday. No lie, I'm the biggest little kid ever when I go to Disneyland. I love it there! And NO I'm not too old for Disneyland says those who think they're too old for it. Other than that...I got my Disneyland Annual Pass! BAH! So, who's down to go to Disneyland whenever?! I AMMMMMM!

Winna's Debutt butt. Wow. I saw a lot of people that I haven't seen in so long. It's been good because I really miss all my boys back home. It's good to see those I haven't even talked to in so long. I miss it all. And man! That girl looked goooood. Oh debuts. How fun are you. [:

WednesDATE. Beach! Pier! Shopping! CPK! Story swapping! Christops! How much more could you ask for? Bonding time is always great! Had way too much fun and Christops officially outdated *ahem on the Santa Monica date. Buahahaha. No shame. I said it, what now? :D

Sportsfest Friday. Awesome fun! Bowling is quite the exciting sport. No lie. Hahahahaha. Fighting with CSUN & what not....Eh! Whatever! It was still fun.

Webcamming every night with different or certain people. Traffic school (Sike, that wasn't fun). Well I mean, there wasn't A LOT of events but they were all worth while. All the people I shared it with made everything so much better. I miss everyone back home but I also miss everyone back here in my 2nd home. School is gonna be a crazy one this quarter BUT, I know I can do my best. AVS112/114L, CHM121/121L, MAT106, COM204...I got this. PaCN is coming up. Who's stoked? I sure am. Bring it on Spring Quarter. I'm ready for you. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Home, sweet home.

2009-03-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

I AM HOME!

I swear, I never thought I would be so excited to be home. I guess because when I'm in Pomona, I'm surrounded by drama. Surrounded by stress of schoolwork. It's just been a crazy quarter and I must say...I'M SO GLAD THAT IT'S OVER. But, it's worth it. This quarter has brought so many things up while at the same time, brought so many things down. Let's recap my entire quarter, shall we?

So, a lot of bads happened. The biggest bad of this quarter was losing my car. Yeah, getting into my car accident was definitely the worst way to start off this quarter. I'm still dealing with all my car accident stuff. Insurance dealings suck. I owe so much money to traffic school, tickets, loss of car. It's ridiculous. I swear, with everything, including my lost car, I honestly think I lost around $27,000. I have no more car to drive whenever I want. I have to take traffic school probably twice. One for the LA county and one for Bakersfield. I mean, dealing with all my car stuff was the worst of my bads. From this car accident, I had to drop out of a good role I could've had in PACN, my parents, well my mom officially HATES Barkada & I can only do ONE dance because of school & the time where I had to call my parents to show that I was "studying". I also had to deal with trying to up my failing class of biology. Drama from a lot of people's drama. Bad break-up. I mean, a lot of things happened that I can say was really bad from this quarter. I just wish that I would never have to deal with any of this ever again. At least not the car stuff. I couldn't stand to have to deal with that again. That, I can honestly say, was HELL.

However, there were tons and tons and TONS of goods that happened this quarter. First of all, I've become such GREAT friends with certain people who I now consider some of my very best friends. I've gotten super close with my ates & oh gosh, I'm so glad that I have them to watch my back. Not only that, I've lost some friends that I don't need because they only caused drama in my life and completely disregarded my trust as well. Honestly, that's good for me. I've also gained more self-respect for myself. After dealing with certain someone, I've learned that I'm very strong. Nothing can push me down for anything. I alsooooo...WENT TO SEE LMFAO/SHWAYZE with my ates! Ridiculous. I even went to DISNEYLAND and I'm getting an annual pass! BYAHHH! How exciting and how FUN. No lie, I'm so stoked to get it. Disneyland makes me so happy and I can't wait until I get to go whenever I want...Well, when people decide to go. I even bought a Nintendo DS today AAAAAAND Pokemon Platinum. I'm so nerdy BUT I'm so excited that I have it. Hahahahaha. Anywho, there's plenty of things that added to make the bads not so bad, but I have to say that the bads outweighed the goods this time. BUT that doesn't mean that it won't get better this next quarter.

Today (March 23) is my little sister's birthday. She's 13. Weird. Feels so good to be back home. Until next week. [: Pictures next time.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

New Occurances.

2009-03-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

Well, many things have come into my life that I'm completely glad I have. I really do have some amazing friends. [: I have some friends that I thought I'd never have anything in common with or be able to do, say, act, think the same things that I do! I never really realized that I have such great great great friends. BAH! I'm happy that people care for me and care about me this much. *Sigh* no more emotional roller coaster alone! [:

Short brief blog. Just wanted to say that I'm really happy. I'm way happy. And I can't wait to see what else is gonna brighten up my week and/or month. [:

ps. I think.................you're really cool. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Pointless blog.

2009-03-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so don't judge me. This blog is a rant about nothing that many people don't know about. BUT a lot of people might now about. Basically, like in my last blog, I said that I wish someone could ride this emotional roller coaster with me. Looks like all I've got is a blog. HAHAH ew, emo much? But here goes my rant:

BAHHHHHH!! So much EMOTIONS! I feel like I need to like CHILL OUT. Or, I want to like...HAND EVERYTHING OVER. I want to be able to just have no stress on my chest. I feel like escaping somewhere. Disneyland anyone? Honestly, I'm so down. I'm so down to just get away and get rid of everything. I want to be able to AHH! I don't know! I don't even know what I'm talking about here. Honestly, I just feel like writing. From lacking sleep. From having panic attacks. From crying because I feel like I'm just a dumb fcuk. I just want to be my good ol' self again. I want to be able to go home and not worry about what I have to go back to Pomona for. Or what not. If someone can just take me out and away, life will be great. JUST ONE DAY. That's all I need. This is why I want my car back. I want my car so I can drive my cares away. I want to be able to just...DRIVE. I hate not being in control with everything. I hate not knowing what I'm doing anymore. I thought I had everything in control. AH! It's not that way anymore. This is the saddest I've ever been in my life. I don't want to be here in this position. I just don't know what to do anymore. *Sigh* Someone take me out and I promise, I'll make our day one of the greatest you'll ever have. Let's just do something, someone. Anyone.

Can we go to the beach already?

Anyone down?

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Emotional roller coaster.

2009-03-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

Who wants to ride this with me?

So I've been dealing with so many things for the past few days. I've been dealing with so many people and interesting things which require me to use my gift of words. See...I'm on this emotional roller coaster in which I can't seem to get off of. No, I'm not on my period. But I'm happy one moment, then I'm pissed the next. Suddenly, I'm extremely happy and excited, but then I'm stressed out within the next 2 hours. Then, I can feel giddy and good, then I feel awkward and displaced. I love roller coasters, but I hate emotional ones. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's been a great week so far. I've been studying super hard for the past few days, I've been chillin' and keeping my cool with the friends I love most. I've been planning my hangouts for next week before I go home. What else could I ask for you know? But for some strange reason, I just feel so emotionally disrupt. I don't know if it's romantic feelings. I don't know if it's nervous feelings. I don't know if it's awkward feelings. I don't know if it's hatred feelings. It's just tough to explain because, it's all mumbled up in my mind. I've been dealing with a lot of people which would require them to pour or at least share their own set of emotional feelings for others. Whether it be hatred, sadness, love, annoyance, whatever. These bulks of feelings that people have shared with me, have taken an impact in my life to where I'm feeling that same emotion because I feel emotionally stressed. Different people, different feelings. I have no room for my own feelings anymore or moments in where I can talk to certain people about...well, certain people. Don't get me wrong, I love listening. I love sharing. I love talking. I just need a place where I can share my emotional barrier and weight upon someone who can support what I'm holding on my shoulders. I'm glad to be included. I'm glad I'm trusted enough to ride with others' on their emotional roller coasters. I just want to make sure that I have someone that I can ride my roller coaster with because it's a crazy rough one at times. (It's like the X2 of my life! Hahaha!) Buuuuuut, we'll see how everything works out. (This is why I said I really needed to blog. Buahaha.)

By the way, let's just get the awkwardness out. Talk? I want to.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Life.

2009-03-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

let's go here. Someone take me.

So, as much as I wanted February to be over, it was over all right. Now that March is here, I want to cry. Everything has just been so hard lately. I've been wanting to write about insightful things. I've wanted to write about things that's gonna bring people up. I want to open up things to people's lives. The thing is, I haven't had those moments to write about something insightful. I want to write about insightful things, not only for people to read, but for myself to read and lift my spirits up for myself. I just feel so lost for myself ever since the beginning of February. See, the month of March started off rough, but I'm really hoping that MAYBE, just MAYBE this month will be great. I've got a few things to look forward to...Shwayze/LMFAO show, Downtown Disney date, Spring Break, Norcal trip(?), A-Board kickback, Magic Mountain day...that's all I can think of for the moment. But I mean, we'll see how things go. I mean, I do have some things I'm way excited for. But other than that, I guess I'll just stick to how my days have been going. *

Last night was the E-board/A-board auction. I must say, I was a little annoyed. I honestly was. Like, for EVERYONE to be so drunk, there was so much noise, people, drunken people to take care of. I mean, it was still fun. But, I was super tired. The party was pretty okay though. EVERYONE in that entire house was drunk except me, Christops, Cj & Daniel. Ridiculous. People were all over the place but hey, that's what that house is like. BUT, I love it. Good to be the responsible one & take care of some people. Anyway, the auction was pretty good though. To get Shwayze/LMFAO tickets for $30 bucks with Ate Rachel, Ate Katie & Kuya Ermie. SHOOT. I'm stoooooked. AND I also bought a date to Downtown Disney! I love Downtown Disney! [: It'll be a fun night 'cuz Justin Rodriquez is a fun one. Hahah. AND I'm gonna try to see if I can buy David still...by asking Cami. Buahahah. I wanna go on a date with David tooo! That'll be so much fun! [: Anywho, I really got some great stuff. SUCCESS! I got just what I wanted.

Ready for the week. Bring it on. [:

--Danielle Delos Reyes

No "F my life". More like "Ughhh....let's fix it now"

2009-03-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I'm extremely tired. Tinikling practice, today's biology lab, the entire day. Tiring. And not just physically tiring, EMOTIONALLY tiring. See, today, I got accused of plagiarism. Do you know how big of a deal that is here at my school? They don't play. Thing is though, I DIDN'T PLAGIARIZE. I don't do that kind of crap and I don't cheat. That's not who I am and that's NOT what I'm about. Out of some type of misfortune (honest to God, I do not understand it happened) two sentences were copied word for word. Then "according to turnitin.com" my entire paper contained plagiarism all over it. I WROTE THE DANG PAPER MYSELF. I even turned it in EARLY to get it out of the way. I don't understand how it could've happened. Before I went up to her to clear things up because it said to "see me!" I had a 22/25 on the paper. That's really good considering it's 1/8 of my grade. She says, "You know, you actually deserve a 0 for this." And I said, "I didn't plagiarize! I don't do that! That's not what I do! I can even rewrite the paper and turn it in to you the next morning if you want. I honestly did not plagiarize." And so she says, "Hm...give me your paper." and I gave it to her. She crossed out my 22 and gave me an 18. My paper went from an 85% to a 72%. Ouch. But it's better than a zero that I "deserved". That really ruined my day. RUINED it.

I really need to study. I honestly think I might be failing biology (Sorry Jared if you read this). I am actually trying the best that I can and it's just harder than I thought for some reason. My lab is killing me. I wanted to get an A in the lab but I can't. I'm stuck with a B...IF THAT thanks to my "plagiarized" paper. I have a practical on Thursday that I'm scared for. I can't fail this class. If I do, it's time to say Good bye to veterinary school. There's no way I could get in at this time. How could I have failed so much? So early in the game? What's distracting me from focusing the way that I need to? I'm being tested right now. And it's a test that I'm apparently not doing so well in. I really need to go back to something and start from square one. I had this talk with my dad...I think I might end up changing majors. This might actually be something that I have to admit that I can't do. Something is wrong. Something just doesn't feel right. I need to rethink some things and lay things down on paper.

I had to deal with some drama from someone too. Honestly, it's not worth writing about, but all I have to say is: GROW THE EFF UP. You're the one who closed everything off. For you to act like a little kid who wants to ignore me and disregard the fact that I exist as a person and treat me even worse, go ahead. But don't expect me to treat you that way. Sure, I'll be the bigger person in this and deal with your little baby crap. So, grow up and start acting like an adult. You can't hide behind everything forever. Okay, I'm done. End of story. Don't comment on this. Just needed it out there.

I'm done. Too much emotion for one blog. I'm gonna sleep everything off and live tomorrow like a new day. Like what my friend Joseph said to me today: "Live life one day at a time. Don't worry about your future because you already have to deal with what's on your plate already." Words of a really great person. Peace out everyone. Time to start a new day in....7 minutes.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

How I Met Your Mother...

2009-03-02T00:03:00.000-08:00

This is cute. My mom was like "Danielle, look at them race. That's gonna be me and your dad in 20 years." Hahaha! Oh man. My mom is funny. Basically, this weekend was pretty great. Friday, hung out with Shea, Brittany & Jackie. Man, good night but things are pretty funny when you hear "Oh, I have to be back by midnight so I can get high with ****" Buahahahaha! Like, seriously? It's really funny when someone who is new to the college experience be like "Omgosh! I wanna try everything bad!" Honestly, worst idea I've heard. Anyway, it was just funny. So Saturday, homework and....RODRIGUEZ party! High school kids man. Way too funny. Justin Rodriguez came and picked me up and oh man. Heart to hearts in the car. Gooood stuff. AH man. The party was all too fun. Super smash, How I Met Your Mother, guitaring, piano-ing, fake drinking, making fun of high school kids...I love the Rodriguez family. [: Anywho, today, I went out with mother and father to Anaheim and ate dinner together. It was nice and what not. So yeah. Basically, it was just a really easy, nice weekend. Remind me to never stay at the dorms on weekends. Or if anything, INVITE ME TO STAY AT YOUR HOUSE! PLEASE! Okay, good night. Time for a really hard week. *Sigh*

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

$202!?!

2009-02-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

So the city of Pomona hates me. I honestly want to cry and UGH. So many things have just been sucking so much. Plenty of things have been happening and it's just too much to handle right now. It's been getting super annoying. The most annoying part of it all is that I need to come up with $202 because the stupid freaking city of Pomona gave me a ticket for hitting the two trees that I hit when I got into my accident. Honestly, hearing that put me in the worst mood ever. I'm not in "I hate my life" mode, but I'm so mad at everything that happened. On top of a $300 speeding ticket & traffic school online for Bakersfield, I have no car. I have no more money. I have 2 tickets on my record all within a week of each other. One of which was JUST an accident. But the city of Pomona is a real jerk. What am I supposed to do? I'm about ready to resort to things I shouldn't. UGH. Why must so many crappy things happen to me this month?

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"Lately I've had the strangest feeling..."

2009-02-26T00:30:00.000-08:00

"With no vivid reason here to find. Yet the thought of losing you's been hanging around my mind."

How Stevie Wonder can write. How he can write exactly about how my life is. How this line has actually been hanging around my mind. How true his words are to me right now.
-------
So lately, I've had the strangest feeling (ha) well actually I have had the strangest feeling. See, after many events have happened in the past few days, I feel so...strong. I feel like I've never been the strongest in what I think is most important to me. I've never had such a strong stand in myself in such a long time until then. Since it just happened, I feel like everything that is most important to me is even more important to me now. Like, honestly, if things didn't work out, then obviously, it wasn't for me and it wasn't for anything that would make me a better person. Like I said to many other people "If it didn't make me a better person, then it would be making me a worse person and that's not who I am." I'm not giving up something important to me to make others happy. Respect is what its all about. That's basically all I wanted to say. I just want everyone to know: After all of this, I'm a better person. I'm stronger & I've got way too many people behind my back on this one. I'm glad things happened the way they did. And I really hope the best for everything.

So since today is Ash Wednesday and since today is the start of Lent: My lenten sacrifices do not need to be announced publicly. But rather, I know that I will definitely be making myself a much better person after this Lent. However, I am doing much more to show my faith in God and not be ashamed. After going to confession, I feel like a much better person. I intend to keep it that way. Happy Lenten Season.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

STUPID!

2009-02-23T22:54:00.001-08:00

How could I have been so stupid? Whatever, I'm over it.

Advice for myself: RESPECT YOURSELF & STAY TRUE TO WHAT YOU WANT & BELIEVE.

Traditions? Dead or Alive?

2009-02-21T00:42:00.000-08:00

So, traditions. Not counting like cultural traditions much but mostly the old-fashioned traditions. What makes me feel...disappointed in the youth today are the lack of old-fashioned traditions or disrespect for it. Maybe not disrespect it, persay, but don't celebrate that idea anymore. To name a few...

All girl/guy living spaces:

So, don't get me wrong. I'm not singling anyone out. But it made me think...I wouldn't wanna be running around in my underwear with a dude living in my house. It means I have to be 10 times more careful with what I do. Regardless of whether or not they're like my "brother", guys still get excited to see a girl in another way other than outside of the door. I think that it also allows girls or guys to bond more if they're an "all guy"/"all girl" apartment. Not just because I was raised that way, but I still see that it seems just...right to live that way. Girls, would you want your guy roommate to bring home his girlfriend (or some random hook up) one night and you have to deal with the drama of what that girl thinks about you living with him? Or guys, would you want your girlfriend giving you drama about living with a bunch of girls? Don't say that you would dump his/her ass if they gave you that drama. You have to think about it in their point of view. It just doesn't look right regardless of what is really going on. Not only that, but if you live with your bf/gf, I think that's like..."cheating" your way out of the marriage idea. I still hold true to the idea that one should only live with their significant other when they marry. It just seems that once you live with that person and you eventually get married, what more excitement is there? It's like you're already doing the same thing over and over and then there's nothing more. Then if you two break up from your relationship, there's the hassle of moving out, finding a place, returning everything to eachother, fighting over what belongs to who, etc. It just doesn't seem right, especially at this age of being in early college. Like I said, I don't mean to single anyone out at all. I just came across this situation for myself and this is what I think.

Courtship:

So, every girl, well a girl of old-fashion-ism (a real word? Nah.) always dreams about being courted. Courted has almost the same meaning as "seeing each other". See, these moments are the sweet moments. These moments are the cute moments where each person is still shy and on their best behavior. When I explained this to someone, here's what I said, "basically, courtship is like the early days before you're officially together. it's kinda like "seeing eachother" but where you're trying to prove to the girl that you're worth seeing into more. and you also trying to prove others around you and her that you really care but not only romantically, but if things don't work out, you'll still be great friends." The funny thing is, this person goes "Isn't that dating? or "talking"?" Point proven. This little part of the "relationship" process is completely skipped. Why? Beats me. But it should really be brought back. If this was brought back, relationships wouldn't have to be so complicated because according to JUSTIN RODRIGUEZ , "Relationships are complicated!" (He wanted me to put him in the blog. Buahhaah loser.) But forreal though, courtship is something that is so special. It's something girls still think about. At least girls who have more on their mind than just hooking up with a guy. And if you're a guy and you wanna date someone, try courtship. Tell me how it works out. And if you're a guy who's already dating a girl and you haven't done courtship (or at least to its full extent) you can still do it! But to future guys of girls, don't let courtship die! It's still special and girls still like it.

Sorry if this next topic is completely controversial but I just wanted to express my thoughts:
Premarital Sex:

A lot of teens nowadays have sex. Plenty of college students have sex. This is fact. About 60% of all Cal Poly Pomona students are sexually active. I am proud to say that I am part of that 40% who is not sexually active. This old-fashioned ideal of having sex only until you're married is disrespected AND ignored nowadays. Thanks to contraceptives having sex is so much easier. Thanks to certain pills, having sex is so much easier. Thanks to media, having sex is so much easier. Like I said before, don't get me wrong. I'm not judging anyone on what they've done or how they feel about this topic. I just believe that having sex before marriage is not only morally wrong but it kills the magic of when you do get married. This goes back to the living together situation. If you live with your boyfriend/girlfriend, more than likely you two are sexually active. Now, once you're married, there's no magic. There's no mystery. There goes the idea of a "honeymoon night". See, there's a reason why women wear white on their wedding day. It's a representation of the sexual purity of the woman. White is sign of purity. If you've already had sex before your wedding, white would just be an oxymoron to your wedding. See, I believe that sex is not an option while in a relationship. I don't think that sex has to be part of a relationship for it to be a great relationship. If you can go on without sex, then you really do have respect for eachother's body and self-respect for your own. Why is sex so important in a relationship anyway? I don't mean to ask that in such a negative sense, but I honestly want to know what people think. I was raised to believe that sex should only be saved for that one person when you get married. I have way too many friends who have STDs, who are pregnant, who are mothers/fathers, who have had abortions and things like that. See, I don't find any pros to having sex before marriage. Sure, everyone says it feels great. You know, I don't doubt you. I bet sex feels amazing! I bet it's one of the best feelings in the world. BUT, I want to share that most amazing feeling with the one that I love and will love forever when I marry. You know, I'll admit, I've had situations where I've been offered to have sex. And I'll admit that I ALMOST gave in. But you know, I don't wear a ring on my finger for show. I'm human and of course I get those feelings of wanting to be close to someone intimately but if I'm not the strong one, there goes everything I believe in. There goes everything I've worked hard for. And, there comes regret. It's hard to say no, I'll admit it myself. It's hard to turn down sex when it's so easily given to you. But, I still respect the old-fashioned tradition of sex until marriage. And when I say this, I mean ALL forms of sex. I also respect my body and what I stand for.

See, I'm not trying to preach to people. I just wanted to shed some light on some traditions that are EASILY forgotten and have been forgotten. These things still hold strong in my mind and heart. I really want to share this with people because I believe that in order to be happy in life and keep someone wanting more in life, these should be observed. Like I said earlier again, I'm not judging anyone at all. I'm not pointing any fingers at anyone either. And I don't mean to offend anyone. I just want people to understand that. These all stick in my heart and to live in a world that continues to degrade, forget, ignore, or disrespect these traditions that were established before. But forreal though, take a look back at what you were taught when you were yonger and just think hard about it and if you were never taught any of this, take some of these to heart or try to see where I'm coming from. Maybe it'll spark a thing or two.

Peace out. Love is bond.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Who's a cuhh?

2009-02-18T04:03:00.000-08:00

So basically today consisted of a First - Year Barkada outing. I must say...SUCCESS! Oh Zugey, you do such a great job of bringing us all together. I must admit, everything was so fun even though it was more than just first years. But you know, I just hope that all of us first years stay close because SH!T dude, we are sooooo bomb. Forreal man. So after going to In-n-Out, we all decided to go hookah. It was a really chill night. No lie. Everyone was just so chill and it was fun hanging out with everyone. That's basically it! We even took one of my greatest friends, BRITT-NAY NEWTOWN along. Shoot, girl is bombski. She's so down. Hahahah. But other than that, plenty of stuff went down. When we got back from Fullerton, we went to Alberto's to get churros...can you believe, NO churros for TWO Alberto's from different cities!? WTF man! But their carnitas tortas are BOOOMB. I don't know why we wanted to go to Alberto's. We even partied it up in the car early early morning man. Hahah. Ahhh, I love my life. I love my friends. I love everything going on right now. Everything is just sooooo..happy! [:

So, after feeling so chill and what not. Justin and I had our little heart to heart and I must say, I'm so glad we did. We got so much understanding done and we finally see eye to eye on so many things. We finally see where we're both coming from. Honestly, I'm so glad we talked things out. It made us stronger as both friends and being in relationship. That's basically it. [: I have such a great boyfriend and I'm proud to say it. Buahaha.

Simple, easy blog. Just wanted to keep it nice and simple. Just like how I like my life.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

P.S. No pictures again. I fail at owning a camera. Hahaha.

College life.

2009-02-15T23:55:00.000-08:00

So I just recently had a really long talk with someone the other day. And it made me think: how much have I changed over the past few months since I've started college. See, this person never sees me. This person doesn't know what I do everyday but rather, he only knows by the things that I tell him. Here's the thing, I felt SO bad with everything that we talked about. Why? Because I brought me back to how I used to be. Back in high school, back when I promised that I wouldn't give in to certain things or do certain things when I started school. Guilt trip basically. I really wanted to talk about it because, I don't know how to deal with this guilt trip that he's given me the other day.

So, I told him about how the past few days, I've been partying and hangin' out with tons of people and yes, drinking. I understand that it's not a good thing at times, but you know, I've talked to my parents, my older brother and here's the only way I can justify and give myself some credit: I make smart decisions if I DO decide to drink. I know my limit and I stop. I know not to drive EVER. I know not to have a drunk hook up with some random person. See, although I "made a wrong decision" in the first place, it's what you decide to do after. I know I don't need alcohol to have fun but there's nothing wrong with it if you can handle yourself. If you don't easily become addicted and binge drink then you're making the smarter decision of the worst, so to speak. It also depends on WHO you drink with. The people that I decide to have fun with are the people that I consider my 2nd family. The times we have partied and I ended up throwing up, they've always taken care of me. They've always taken me into their home and let me stay the night and never let me drive back (not like I can nowadays. RIP Magnaton). See my friend is someone who doesn't drink at all and is 21. He doesn't drink by choice and I commend him for deciding not to. But, just because he and I used to have the same standards about not drinking, I know that I've changed. I explained to him that I hardly do drink actually. In comparison to those who drink casually as I do. He said "Why do you have to compare yourself to those who make horrible decisions rather than those who do not make the decision to drink?" WELL here's the thing, you can't compare yourself to those who don't. You will eventually make yourself look worse than them, but you can only compare yourself to those who drink. You won't win. See, when I drink, it's because I want to. Not because I want to follow everyone else. Not because I'm being pressured. It's all up to me on how much I want to drink or if I want to at all. And honestly, I do choose not to at times. If you have that intuition to choose between drinking or not and weigh your options, then you're smart enough to drink. But if you're so "NO! No drinking for me because I don't want to become someone who will become addicted!" then obviously, you're someone who CAN be easily influenced if you cannot even look at the two decisions and decide for yourself. I know I said before that I will always will be and continue to be straightxedge but as cliche as this sounds people change, and I believe that I haven't changed for the worst just because I decide to casually drink at times. I have smart decisions and I can choose to do so or not.

So boyfriend topic. Okay, well...this part is a little hard to explain, but I will explain. I promised myself that I would not have a boyfriend until I was 21. But my reasons were because I wanted to stay pure and that I didn't want to give into the temptation of sex (which is a little embarrassing to admit that I do get tempted. But I'm only human). After talking to those who really care about me and my family, I've realized that just because I have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean that I cannot continue to stay pure. I don't wear this promise ring for no reason. To others, it's just a fashion statement. For me, it has meaning. I know I essentially broke my promise of not having a boyfriend, but my main focus AND reason of why I made that promise was to protect myself from the temptation. But here's the thing, in those 2 years of not having a boyfriend, my promise taught me something about holding on to my purity no matter what circumstance I'm in. I also learned what to look for in a future boyfriend and to make my standards higher than what I used to have to keep myself protected. So basically all I can say is, yes. I admit that I broke that promise of not having a boyfriend, but I don't regret it because I'm proud of how I hold onto my sexual purity regardless of having a boyfriend or not. And I'm really happy with how my life is. I'm really happy with him and he respects the fact that I choose not to give into the temptation of sex. All I can say is, trust. I didn't change who I am because I have a boyfriend. In fact, I think I'm a better person and I've grown because of how my boyfriend compliments me and supports my decisions without pressuring me at all.

I know this is a lengthy and maybe boring blog, but I really wanted to put out my guilt tripped feelings because of an old very best friend of mine. All I want to promise people is that I'll admit, I have changed. But I think I've matured in the way that I see things and have become more open but not too open to forget where I came from. I think that I haven't changed for the worst at all, but rather, I've changed in the way that I see some things and grown in some ways that I stand so strongly on. And all I can say is that if I tell you a story, please understand that stories of college are always to the extreme. College life isn't just about the stories I tell you about how interesting my nights go here and there, but there is the boring side of where I study, have class, do homework...stuff like that. Like I told my friend: You can't judge my entire experience and mind by a story of one weekend because you don't understand the entirity of what I do most of the time.

Peace out guys. Let's be open and accepting of others, yeah?

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

PS. Sorry no pictures this time. Haha.

Just a Thought: Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day is just like the picture above. GIRLS ALWAYS MAKE IT MORE THAN GUYS DO. Hahaha. Girls always make it a big deal to have a good day this day. They always want a guy to make them feel a little better than they ever have. They always make themselves prettier than usual and always wish for that little sign that someone cares about them. I've never had a Valentine before. Did you know? Hahaha. But you know, I could really care less that I've never had one. But for some reason, this year, Valentine's Day has a different reason for me. I'm celebrating being loved but by those who care about me and I care about rather than it only being a romantic commericialized holiday. Although, I have one this year (My very first. HAHAHA), it's not the top of my priority list. I know a lot of people who really find it to be a priority and it makes me sad to think that they really want to find LOVE by Valentine's day. So basically, I just wanted to say...don't worry about Valentine's day. You should have a Valentine's YEAR. Then, an "I HATE YOU" day. hahahahh!

When I was younger, I hated Valentine's day. I used to be so emo about my life and be like "Why can't a boy like me?!" (Ew, I look back now and that's just gross). But I felt bad for those people who felt worse than I did. There were some guys out there who just weren't the cutest or best looking and didn't get the attention of girls AT ALL but they were such NICE guys. They would be some of the nicest guys in school, but that's all they were to everyone else. This was all throughout high school, middle school and even elementary school. So you know those little suckers that they sell during Valentine's Day with the little messages called "Candy Grams" or what not? Well, I would always save up to buy a few. I would buy some for my friends and send it to them. But I would always save up an extra 50 cents to buy one for someone who I knew that this Valentine's Day, would never get one. So, I would send them one anonymously. When they would get it, I would just see their face light up and show all their guy friends that they got one and they tried to guess who sent it. I did this all throughout my younger school years. And to this day, I hope they still believe that someone out there thinks they are someone special. I swore that I was gonna continue this tradition to my children when I got older because I know what it was like to get my first anonymous candy gram. [:

Happy Valentine's Day.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes.

Going off on tangents.

2009-02-08T00:59:00.000-08:00

So, I honestly don't know what to write about for tonight. But I feel like I should. I guess I should just talk about my day, hopefully that'll bring me to something to talk about. Oh, by the way, since the accident, I've been doing better. I've been sleeping better and I have no pains. My trauma is still a little much and my paranoia is still kinda bad. But I'm Danielle. I can get through anything. Tomorrow, I drive back to Pomona. It'll be my first time driving since my accident, but it'll be okay. Okay so back to what I was going to talk about. So today, I was picked up by my parents to go home today. It's weird being picked up and not have to drive home. It was cool though. I had breakfast with our family friends and oh my goodness. I haven't had such great food in such a long time. They live so close to me too which makes me think "Why haven't I called our family friends for anything important?" Especially when I got into that car accident. Well, I guess I just didn't think. It was nice to reunite with them and talk about the newest things in our lives. When I get older, I sure hope to have friends like that. We're even planning to go on a cruise together. Considering I've never been on one, it just sounds so good to go on one. Hahah. But anywho, after, we drove back to Bakersfield. I walk into my house and there sits this BEAUTIFUL beautiful bird. It's called a Blue-winged lory. It was SO beautiful. It's the same kind of bird that eats the nectar from the cups when you go to Disney World in Florida. Oh my goodness. This bird was $700 but it's the nicest and one of the smartest birds ever. See, I'm kinda scared of birds because the first one we had was such a jerk! Hahah. I still have a scar from when it ate a piece of my hand. (Stupid bird) But this one was so nice. Well, we didn't have time so we went to Delano (Ghetto town I was born in. Believe me, you don't wanna go there for fun) for one of our family friend's birthday. He was turning 80. Oh gosh, it was hard to see him in a wheelchair but he was so happy. There were so many people there supporting him. Dude, I really hope people will care about me when I turn 80 and wanna come see and hang out with me even if I can't communicate as much as I used to. But I hung out with a few of my greatest friends and two of my very best. I miss them every time I leave Bakersfield. It's crazy. So now I'm home. You know how good it feels to just be home when you're gone for a long time? It's crazy. Anywho, this is probably the most boring blog ever but Justin Rodriguez really wanted me to write something. Apparently, he likes what I write. Sorry if this is totally boring. Hahahaha. You know I've got a really good blog to post up once Valentine's Day comes around. [:
Have a great night kids. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

RIP Magnaton.

2009-02-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

So, SCPASA summit was great. It was one of the most fun I've had in a while. I miss it all and everything. But there is a not so great story to this. After VIBE, the after party, Justin and I decided to go home instead of partying and hanging out with everyone else at Leah's house. Justin drove the first half and was starting to feel really sleepy. So he pulled over and I decided to drive the rest because I was feeling more awake. He fell asleep. It was an easy drive back and I was almost home. I exited Diamond Bar Blvd and kept driving. At this point, it's 1:30am. Until suddenly, I found myself with my windshield cracked and on top of the media. I found myself on the other side of the median. For a split second, I found some type of consciousness and moved myself back onto my side of the road while at the same time, I hit another tree. I pushed the breaks, set the car to park and sat there dumbfounded at what I saw and felt. I looked at my windshield and couldn't believe that it was cracked. I was so scared, I looked over and checked to see if Justin was okay...thank God, he was still awake and talking. The first thing he asked me was "Are you okay Danielle?!" I was like "I'm okay. Oh my God. I can't believe this happened. Oh my God." At the same time, I looked down and I was bleeding. My right leg was shining in the light with blood dripping down. I had glass in it. My right arm had a gash in it with a sparkle. I had glass in my arm. I got out of the car easily and Justin got of the car easily. I looked at Justin and asked him if he was okay. Lucky for him, NOTHING was on him. No gashes or scratches on him. Which made me calmer. Right then, two ladies said "I've already called the cops. You'll be fine. Is everything okay? Anything broken? Anyone else in the car?" I answered "No" and I asked what time it was. The ladies said that it was about 2am in the morning. My leg was burning and the cops, firefighters and ambulence came. They made me wash everything out but they couldn't get the glass out. The ladies offered to take me to the hospital which I ended up doing after the cops wrote up the report and my car was towed away. While I was talking to the cops, Justin took pictures of the entire car. The pictures still scare me to this day and I still can't sleep fully without waking up or dreaming about the crash. I went to the hospital at 4am and didn't go in until 6:30am. Justin and those two ladies stayed the whole time. The ladies left once my dad and my brother came. I got my leg washed up and all the glass was out. It was crazy how much glass there was. After everything else, my dad, kuya, me and Justin went to breakfast and things just seemed better. My dad made me feel so much better and I was just glad to be in a bed again. I totally knocked out for that day.

My life flashed before my eyes and I still can't believe to this day that I am still alive. These pictures make it seem like I died. I was a miracle story for the hospital and it was crazy. I'm so blessed to know that God wants me to live today. I value my life so much more and all I can do is thank God everyday for giving me a second chance to live today. I'm traumatized to drive or ride in a car but I'm Danielle. I can get through anything. As for a ride, I'm walking for now. But going somewhere far, that's not too much of an option for me right now. I hope I get over this as much as I can. All I ask is that people continue to pray for me. I still have to deal with my mom's angry and worried self, but I can understand. RIP Magnaton. You will be missed and you were a great car. Everyone drive safely. Please please please. Value your life everyone, you never know when you'll lose it.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Wussuh.

2009-01-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

So, lately...things have been so up and down. I just don't know, my week has been very...evenly happy and unhappy. SOOOO! Let's begin, shall we?

Sunday: BAD DAY. Came back to Pomona from home and right when I get onto the freeway...AWESOME. Police sirens go off. I pull over and he goes " I had to stop you for going 86 on a 70 zone." I was like "I'm so sorry. I'm just trying to get back to school right now." And he says, "It's okay, let me see your license, registration and insurance" So I dig out my license and my insurance while at the same time, I had to keep my radar hidden or else I could get arrested. I found my license and my insurance and I go "I'm so sorry sir, but I've never been pulled over and I don't know what my registration looks like" And he tells me "It's alright, I'll help you find it." And so, I was looking through all these papers and we find it. He leaves and is gone for a super long time. I already knew, he wouldn't give me a warning. FML. So he comes back and gives me back everything and he makes me sign the ticket. FML even more. So I called my parents, made myself feel bad, and everything else. Awesome. So now, I'm waiting for the ticket to come to my dorm so I know when to go to court. Sucks. So, no more speed racing for me. *sigh*.

Monday - BAD DAY/OKAY DAY. Soooo, SOMEONE was acting super weird and it was buggin'. So it was way wack and way weird. Had PaCN audtions and it was SO much fun. Tried out for a lead role and I'm kinda scared about it, but I'm excited. I really hope I did as well as I think I did. YEE. The part I tried out for was just way too fun too. And it was something I can totally characterize up. PaCN is so awesome, I really hope I get to be a part of it this year for the first time. And, that's about all that happened. Monday was a lame but okay day.

Tuesday - BAD DAY to GREAT NIGHT. After someone was acting so weird, we get to an awkward argument. After him coming over to talk about it...turns out, I find out everything I wanted to do and become a better part of his life. You can guess. I won't say on here. Hahaha. First in almost 2 years. And I must say, this feeling is a great feeling. I've really grown during those times of being completely single and I'm using these lessons I've learned. Everything is great and I'm just super happy. He and I are really happy and I don't know! It's just great. [: The 27th. A new date to add on the important list on my calendar.

Wednesday - GOOD DAY. First day of being half of a relationship. Hahaha. Ew. Just kidding. It's a new feeling. And I'm on my best behavior. Seeee, I can be great. Ain't no thang. Watched the Barkada Basketball Intramurals game and cheered on my other half of a relationship. He's so freaking good. What the. And it was cute, I tried to make a shot and I heard "There goes my girl." Eeeee. SHUTUP! I'm not smiling on the inside. Hahahaha. This day was a great day, other than the studying the whole day part. But great day anyway.

Thursday - GOOD DAY. Barkada meeting, great as always. Seeing him, great as always. Hung out with people, great as always. Today is just a good day so far. It's not over yet, but I have a feeling today is just gonna end being a great day.

This Saturday is SCPASA Summit. Woo! I'm so stoked, I can't wait to go. Spend a day with Barkada and a ton of friends that I know from UCI. Then, PARTY IT UP that night! Wooo! *siiigh* Awesomeeeeee! Okay, time to stay in class. Pictures will be up when I get back to my dorm. [:

OH By the way, my weekends are completely packed. Let's hang out on the open dates, yes?

January--
31st - SCPASA @ UCR

Feburary -
7th - Brittany's Miss Placenta, I mean Placentia pagent.
14th - Valentine's Day. [:
21st - OPEN
28th - OPEN

March-
7th - OPEN
14th - OPEN
21st - Sportsfest XX @ CPP
23-27th - Spring break in NORCAL (Hopefully)
28th - Lizelle's Birthday Weekend

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Walk for Life 09

2009-01-26T00:23:00.000-08:00

Walk for Life 2009. San Francisco, California. Started off at 4AM in the morning riding the bus at St. Francis Parish at first felt like it wasn't worth it. Especially when I came back from Pomona late at night and slept late. BUT in reality, it was totally worth it. Knowing that I'm standing up for the rights of those who can't stand up for themselves. I don't know if you're against abortion, but I know I am. This blog is definitely about the support I have for them and what I stood for this weekend. 35,000 people were there standing up for those unborn in San Francisco. There were no more than 100 protesters who were for abortion. What I don't understand are the people who are FOR abortion. The majority of those who were against it, were women who have never had a child before. Also, there were a lot of protesters that were gay men. Honestly, why would gay men have a reason to be behind abortion. They don't have a reason to be. No hate on gays, it's just interesting about how they could be behind abortion. People were yelling at me saying "You don't even know why you're walking!" Well, my response to this was "You don't even know why you're standing and yelling." People have the nerve to just say "F*** Christianity" How could you? I don't understand how people can undermine and disrespect others. No one is disrespecting people who are FOR abortion. We simply are against it and we stand for these poor babies that cannot speak for themselves. God has said "Thou shalt not kill." It's just the way it's supposed to be. I just wanted to speak out for that. I really hope and pray that abortion will end. Regardless of whether you're a Christian or not, abortion is bad and you should really take a stand on it all. Well, I just don't want to make things sound like I'm persecuting anyone so I just want everyone to know where I stand and what I experienced this weekend. Picture time:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Real eyes realize real lies

2009-01-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

Helloooooooo blogspot! There's been plenty that's happened lately...

So I've been really sick lately and I haven't updated because I'm just blegh. I honestly think I have strep throat. Haha. Okay maybe not. But duuude, it's totally been not cool.

I just got back from Palmdale from Campus Based Camp. Wow, man. It's so amazing to go back to feeling that spiritual high that I've always felt back in the day. It's really good to be with people that love God as much as I do. Everything was so amazing. It felt so good to be with old friends and meet new friends that are in the same situations as I am. AH I love it. I miss it already. [:

OHHHHHHHHHH man oh man. I just wanted to say...I'm as happy as happy can be. Everything is so great. Not only am I happy spiritually, but I'm happy because of someone very special to me. Spending a lot of time together, going to places I've never been to, eating some of my favorite foods with him. I guess I'm starting to enjoy the company of someone and BLEGH! Too cute lovey mushy crap. Hahahah. Whatever. [:

Anywho, I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing. I'm so tired. Hahaha. I'll update again soon with more life-teaching artsy stuff. How I love my life. [:

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Here's to my beginning of my winter quarter.

2009-01-09T01:36:00.000-08:00

Well, winter quarter. You know, my second session of college. So far, I've definitely got a whole new outlook on certain things. So many things have already happened within my life and I don't know what to make of it all but rather, just to accept them and deal with them both good and bad events.

1. So I just got back from Bakersfield for Lucky's reunion. I left Wednesday afternoon and got back thursday morning. CRAZY drive and I'm extremely tired because I've had class from 9:15am to 7pm and I went to Irvine for Kababayan's 1st general meeting. I barely got back in at like 12 midnight. But anyway, after my dog dying, it was like my family was brought together even more. My dog really did bring luck to my family and it seems as though my entire family was ready to let him go. We really became happier because we didn't have to worry about him being sick or cold or anything. We all loved him.

2. I'm trying to get into a class while at the same time I'm debating on whether or not I should take the Spanish Challenge test. I feel confident and all, but I'm a little shaky on my Spanish. I'm stressing out from having to add the class where I don't have permission numbers, and the last day is tomorrow. I'm just extremely stressed out on studying for the spanish test and for trying to get the class. Blegh.

3. I'm getting to know someone! [: It's a nice feeling. No lie. Things are going slow as it should, but not slow enough to just pass by without a thought. I haven't forgotten about "it" but I feel as though something good is happening to me for once with this situation of mine. I don't know. It's weird but cool. Hahah. This little deal is helping me cope with my stresses of other stuff so I'm thankful for this someone. [:

4. My classes are so effing hard. Well, just one of them. There's so much to do and so much to study and it just seems like it's never ending! Not only that, but I feel like I'm wasting my college career. I feel as though I'm not doing anything right or that I'm not taking the right things. I feel so...crazy stressed like I won't do well for my future. I feel like changing majors because for some reason, it doesn't feel like this is for me. I don't know...I really need to pray about this.

5. I'm lacking so much sleep. I haven't sleep well for like the past few weeks. I don't know why. I really should start sleeping super early and relax a little bit to be able to catch up on sleep so I won't be complaining all the time or anything like that. BLEGH!

Well, I hate sounding like I'm always complaining. But I felt as though this was a need to relieve stress and sort out everything that I'm trying to deal with. Oh gosh, I'm glad to be taken away from some of these bad reoccurances a few times a day. I hope things go well for me and everything will become the way my life should be.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

RIP Lucky.

2009-01-06T21:40:00.001-08:00

So, as of right now, my heart is broken. A part of me has left me and passed on to a better world. You know, people use the excuse of "oh my dog died" well, my dog really did die. My dog of 14 years. Lucky. See, Lucky was my dog. He was a little dachsaund and he was really cute. What I'm happy is that my dog was never put to sleep. He died peacefully and naturally. Thank God he lived to be as long as he did. He really looked out for the houses that we lived in. For a little dog, he's got a huge bark. Not to mention, he's a biter. He really looked out for me too. We used to say that he has a white mask and white gloves because of his aging white fur. He's such a wonderful and beautiful dog. I will miss him so much. My other dog, my sister's dog, Mocha is going to be so distraught. She was his best friend. She and I are the two who are mourning the most and I know she feels the way I do. You know, as sad as I am...I'm so glad that he was able to live that long life. He was always so happy. I love him like no other and I'm sad to have to see him buried tomorrow. For me to go home and bury my dog makes it a huge deal for me. You know, he has played with so many people. So many people know him and are super sad to see him go...I appreciate everyone for loving him just as much as we did. I ask you to just pray for him or give him a moment of silence because he really was someone special in my family. It's like losing a brother to me. My first dog, MY dog. RIP Lucky. You will be missed. I love you.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

What if...

2009-01-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

"I promise to never hurt you. No matter what we are, we'll always be together somehow."

So, I just had a random thought moment. I was looking back at old pictures and old blogs and I was reading about my old crushes/boyfriends/loves and I thought "What if whatever happened between us never happened...?" BUT I think about one person. Just this one person. You think someone is so perfect while you're with them and you just continue to learn more and more about one person and all of a sudden, the unexpected happens. They decide to cheat on you or lie to you. But here's where the thought comes in. What would happen if they never cheated on you or lied? Would you still be with them living happily? It's funny, I only thought about this today. If this one person hadn't done what he'd done, we would actually still be together. We would still be talking. He would still be waiting for me, he would still be singing to me every night, he would still be making me feel better when TOM's in town. It's funny, he was like the most perfect guy I've ever met. He had everything I could've ever wanted. He was everything I could ever imagine a guy to be like. See, if he didn't lie to me about this other girl, we'd still be enjoying eachother's company every single second like we always did. A few months ago, we decided to talk about what happened between us. At this point, I decided that I wouldn't ever go back with him because of what happened but I had to ask, "So, would you ever consider yourself going back to me?" And his answer is just what I expected from him: "Of course Danielle. I know I don't have a chance now, but maybe sometime in the future? I've missed you." Hmm...what a thought right? I haven't heard from him in a while. We both have lives and we're both busy.

But here's the other thing I ask: Does anyone else compare to him? Interesting question to ask myself, don't you think? Honestly, he was a great guy. We're still friends. I think any girl he decides to be with is lucky because he really is a nice guy. He just can't handle his amount of flirtatious habits. Okay so back to the question. Really, he was his own type of guy. I won't compare another guy to him. I start every guy of interest over. But regardless of whether or not I thought this boy was perfect, perfection comes within the perfection of one's own personality. If you can perfect what you are, then you're perfect.

See, althought I thought about this guy, here's the truth: I'm so thankful that I'm not with him anymore. Number 1: I would've never learned the lessons that I've learned from him. Number 2: I would've never been able to be strong and stand up for myself against cheating/lying or crap like that. Number 3: I would've never learned how to be patient and hold out for everything. But see, I like where I stand now. I've learned all this and I'm getting to know someone who is one of the nicest boys I've ever met and I get to see him everyday and learn about him. I think that's what made the difference between me and the "perfect" boy. He seemed perfect to me because I never saw him everyday. I could only go by his words and his "perfect" responses, which I'm not judging are lies. But, that's all they were, perfection. I think it's time for me to not automatically BE GIVEN perfection, but rather, to learn and see the perfection in someone personally.

SO MANY THOUGHTS! Trying to sort it all out.

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Good bye Bakersfield

2009-01-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

Well, tomorrow is the last day of my Winter Break adventure and I go back to school on Sunday. Let's recap my Winter Break, eh? Even after many things went down.

My family. You know, I'm so very thankful for having a family like mine. For allowing me to be who I am and letting me have this freedom and trusting me with it. For having the patience with me of coming home late when I go out. For letting my best friends sleep over when they want to randomly come and spend the night who live far away from here. You know, my family has been the same since I left and honestly, I LOVE THAT. I hope they never change because I love coming home and feeling at home like I used to. I love being able to feel missed because my family is always hanging around me and it's kinda cool. I love them. Even though we argue about my family wanting me to come back home and just study at home, I know they want the best for me. There's nothing more I'd love than know my parents care for me the way I do. Like I said, I love the feeling of being missed, it's a good feeling. I LOVE THEM! I know I'm going to miss them when I leave again for weeks at a time, but what's better than coming home to know that my family's got my back. [:

The Bestfriends. That's the name: Bestfriends. One word. One love. Okay corny. Hahaha. But really, being gone for so long and never getting together all together at the same time sucks! But during this break, I think I saw every single one of you and it's really awesome because I missed all of you. After hanging out with you guys for these past few weeks, it made me really remember WHY I missed you guys all these months. You guys really are my bestfriends and I'm going to miss you again. With the exception of me being a little itch-bay to someone (WHO I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO TRY TO BE NICE TO) I really miss hanging out with all of you guys. Seeing 3 movies in a row. Staying up until 4 in the morning trying on make-up. Unexpected visits from best friends far away. Until the next time I come home, right?

Christmas, New Years. You know, These aren't commercial holidays. These are holidays for a reason and with a reason. These are times you spend with your families. Not solely to hang out with your friends. Don't take for granted these holidays because there may be a time where a family member may not be there who you care about so deeply like a family I know (Rest in peace Mr. Tucker). I just hope that people realize that it's not about getting gifts, or giving gifts, or having bright lights outside of your house, or even finding the right person to kiss under the mistletoe (Who really does that? Hahaha). It's about sharing and spending the time with family and to relax at home. It's about helping those who are less fortunate. It's about getting to know people on a deeper level. It's really about the birthday of Jesus our Lord. So, did you celebrate what Christmas is really about?

WELL, it's a deep blog, I know. But something to think about. Can't wait to go back to school. Buahahah. I miss everyone. AND if you live in my dorm, be ready to hear some yelling and get ready to hear about some things that are going to happen because once I face my roommate about her little SEXCAPADES she's probably going to get back at me with some type of prank but you know what, that's okay. I've got tons of ammo to get back at her with. Bring it on baby...bring it on.

--Danielle Delos Reyes

(okay so my dad's missing. He's taking the picture. Hahaha)
o9. Everything will be fine. [:

And all aquaintence be forgot...

2009-01-01T01:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! I must say, this is a wonderful beginning to a new year. I have a feeling this year is going to be bomb diggity. Like, I have no i dea why, but I really feel like this is my year. This is my year to start up fresh, new and, exciting. I have a whole new set of New Year's Resolutions this time. My last year's New Year's Resolutions were not all busts. Sure I didn't complete losing all the weight I wanted. Sure I didn't stop talking behind people's backs 100% (Sorry guys). BUT what I did accomplish was making someone, ANYONE smile or laugh once a day, everyday, all year. I completed that! I'm excited about that really. So here's what my New Year's Resolutions are for 2009:

1. Lose Weight

As it is for every person every year. But this year, I'm really going to try hard. I'm really not going to let myself go for college life. Hahaha. Now that I'm in college, I feel like it's time to reinvent myself. Keep the greater parts of me, grow in places where I need to, and learn about more things in my life and what better way to do all this by starting to lose weight.

2. Learn to be more outspoken/agressive. Stop being "Too nice".

So I have this habit of being too nice sometimes to where I won't be agressive for the messages I need to give out to certain people, such as my roommate. I feel like, I can't ever make up my decisions when it involves a lot of people because I'm too busy thinking about pleasing everyone else. I need to think about the well-being of myself and actually stand up for myself even BEFORE a situation so drastic comes.

3. Learn & try something new everyday.

I think that to make myself grow as a person in life, I really should learn something new everyday. Not including what is taught at school, but to learn about life & life lessons. Maybe not only that, but something new about people I'm getting to know. I want to be able to get to know my friends on a better basis. What a better way to become a better friend? [: Also, I wanna try new things that I've never done before. BUT that doesn't include things that will surpass and disrespect my morals. Hahah. New, but good.

4. Do something nice for someone less fortunate than me everyday.

Whether it'd be giving money, food, or donating a jacket, blanket, something, I'm going to take every chance I get a day to help someone who is less fortunate than I am. After this Christmas, I really learned that many people out there need all the help they can get. It's hard to admit it, but there really is a lot of people and they have to put up a facade to prove that they are well off. No need for embarrassment or anything, but HUMILITY is the key to helping the poor and this is what I really need to learn.

5. NO PROCRASTINATING.

I know EVERYONE has a problem with this. BUT this is my year. This is where I'm going to start things at the time it's given. No stress in college when you give up procrastinating. I'm not going to be like others and say it but don't do it. THIS IS IT. No more!

6. Stop cussing!

You know, I realized that I'm such a hypocrite. I used to tell other girls that cussing looks SO unattractive to others. Especially guys. BUT here I am, going around saying "F***!" and "MotherF*****!" or calling people a "B****". I think that it really is time for me to stop cussing AGAIN and go back to just talking like a girl with class and sass. Back to the old Danielle...with a few minor adjustments. [:

Well, there you have it folks. Call me out on it if I don't do any of it. Really. So, like I said...This is my year. This is where I become someone more improved. Not a new person, but someone changed for the better. 2009, everything will be fine. [: God blesssss!

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Aye baby, could you come over here?

2008-12-28T00:03:00.000-08:00

"Lemme scan you...*Uses scanner* Just what I thought...PRICELESS!"

So like, I went to the mall today with my friend Brandon. Brandon & I have been friends since elementary school and we've been friends since then. We both left for college and we haven't seen eachother since he left a week before me. Today, we decided to hang out, just the two of us at the mall and yenno, it's really really funny how much he's changed. He used to be a very shy kinda quiet guy. When I saw him, he looked at me and complimented me. I thought it was nice and so I didn't think anything of it at all. (thanks a lot vince, i can't finish now 'cuz you just called me.) Until all of a sudden, he goes "So Danielle, would you take advantage of me if we were drunk?" and I was sooo taken back and I said "Ummm...no." And he responds with a "Dammit. I wish you did." Sounds like a sarcastic answer, but it wasn't. Later that day, I accidentally hit his butt with my bag and he goes "Did you just touch my butt?" and yet again, I was taken back and I responded, "On accidentally with my purse. Sorry!" and he tells me, "It's okay, keep doing it. I've been waiting for you to." Dude, really? This is just the introduction people. This blog is about how I HATE overly confident boys.

So you know those boys who come up to you and are like super shy & are like "You're awfully purrrdy miss" and all when you first meet them, then all of a sudden...BAM out pops all this confidence to where its ARROGANCE. I hate boys who are like that. Boys who think that it's easy after you give them that chance. Then once they're overly confident, they think they're good enough for the entire world and then leave you with your heart all bent and broken. It's funny how I always end up with boys like that. And to you boys who are completely honest and genuinely sweet and respectful, props to you. But you have a super hard challenge ahead of you to prove to ME that you're actually true and real about it. Maybe not just me, but a lot of girls. Chilvary is not dead, BUT it is questioned because it can come off as arrogance if you don't treat it right.

So I honestly have no idea why I wanted to write about this, but it was super bugging me. Hahahaha. And I felt like guys gotta know about it. Anywho, that's about all for that now. More to come later. [:

I miss everyone at school. Can't wait to start again.....kinda. Ew, I just said it. Ahhhh gross. Hahaha.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Awesome!

2008-12-26T01:06:00.001-08:00

So, this would be my first blog on blogspot ever. Hahaha. I just want to say...I really like blogspot. This thing is pretty bombskii. I'm gonna definitely be usin' up this place now and definitely gonna be puttin' up alllllllll the bombass experiences from school. [:

PEEEEEACE