What if...

"I promise to never hurt you. No matter what we are, we'll always be together somehow."



So, I just had a random thought moment. I was looking back at old pictures and old blogs and I was reading about my old crushes/boyfriends/loves and I thought "What if whatever happened between us never happened...?" BUT I think about one person. Just this one person. You think someone is so perfect while you're with them and you just continue to learn more and more about one person and all of a sudden, the unexpected happens. They decide to cheat on you or lie to you. But here's where the thought comes in. What would happen if they never cheated on you or lied? Would you still be with them living happily? It's funny, I only thought about this today. If this one person hadn't done what he'd done, we would actually still be together. We would still be talking. He would still be waiting for me, he would still be singing to me every night, he would still be making me feel better when TOM's in town. It's funny, he was like the most perfect guy I've ever met. He had everything I could've ever wanted. He was everything I could ever imagine a guy to be like. See, if he didn't lie to me about this other girl, we'd still be enjoying eachother's company every single second like we always did. A few months ago, we decided to talk about what happened between us. At this point, I decided that I wouldn't ever go back with him because of what happened but I had to ask, "So, would you ever consider yourself going back to me?" And his answer is just what I expected from him: "Of course Danielle. I know I don't have a chance now, but maybe sometime in the future? I've missed you." Hmm...what a thought right? I haven't heard from him in a while. We both have lives and we're both busy.

But here's the other thing I ask: Does anyone else compare to him? Interesting question to ask myself, don't you think? Honestly, he was a great guy. We're still friends. I think any girl he decides to be with is lucky because he really is a nice guy. He just can't handle his amount of flirtatious habits. Okay so back to the question. Really, he was his own type of guy. I won't compare another guy to him. I start every guy of interest over. But regardless of whether or not I thought this boy was perfect, perfection comes within the perfection of one's own personality. If you can perfect what you are, then you're perfect.

See, althought I thought about this guy, here's the truth: I'm so thankful that I'm not with him anymore. Number 1: I would've never learned the lessons that I've learned from him. Number 2: I would've never been able to be strong and stand up for myself against cheating/lying or crap like that. Number 3: I would've never learned how to be patient and hold out for everything. But see, I like where I stand now. I've learned all this and I'm getting to know someone who is one of the nicest boys I've ever met and I get to see him everyday and learn about him. I think that's what made the difference between me and the "perfect" boy. He seemed perfect to me because I never saw him everyday. I could only go by his words and his "perfect" responses, which I'm not judging are lies. But, that's all they were, perfection. I think it's time for me to not automatically BE GIVEN perfection, but rather, to learn and see the perfection in someone personally.

SO MANY THOUGHTS! Trying to sort it all out.

--Danielle Delos Reyes