"It's not quite a marriage...""

You know, I'm so inspired. A mixture of Melissa Polinar and Jeremy "Passion" has brought me so many thoughts into my head. You know, I just want to say that I am so happy to admit to myself that I have my heart so well protected and looked out for by someone so amazing. Someone so special. Like, as Melissa Polinar writes "Here's my heart. Here's every part of me. I give it away and I'm here to stay."How beautiful. How amazing to make me inspired to feel the way I do. I'm not in love, no, not yet. But I am happily cared for in such a way that I can no longer express through words. Passion's lyrics are so beautiful..."As long as you wait for me, please save a space for me." You know, I just have his song on repeat for myself.

I have so much inspiration to make something work. I have so much inspiration to just let something strive. Something that means so much to me. I'm young, but that's what I'm thankful for. The youth that I do have, is what makes me realize how much I've got to learn from someone and others around me. Things are so amazing. I don't even know how to express in any more words the amazing feeling that I have been blessed with.

Sometimes I question whether or not I have my heart out in my hand. Whether or not I'm living into the moment than thinking about the future. I'm not looking to get married. I'm not looking for a lifelong relationship just yet. But you know, as I told my mom today, " I'm not looking for a marriage relationship. But you know, if God allows, I'm more than okay with being with that person for a really long time." "Honey, we'll make it."

I'm not writing to say how mushy love I feel right now. But I just want to write about how amazing I feel inside. I sit here and shake my head with a huge smile on my face as I write. I feel as though these expression of words does not even compare to the feeling that I have on my heart and mind. Maybe it's the giddy talking, but also I'm just so inspired. I'm inspired to treat him so differently. I'm inspired to be the best that I can be. I owe him this much to be true and honest with him.

So why do I feel the urge just to write about my loving feeling I have in my system in this blog you may ask? Well, you know I look back on all the relationships, all the boys that have come and gone in the past and I realize...I'm so immature. I thought of the title "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" as just a name. But, it's more than that. It's a commitment to knowing that you've singled yourself out for that one special person. It's not quite a marriage, but it's on the way towards that. If you don't agree, then you're not on the right track with the idea of dating. I feel like, I've been so inspired so much by people that I hold so dearly in my heart. I believe that the guarding of my heart that I've had ever since "I kissed dating goodbye" has taught me the most important lesson of all: Patience. To wait for the biggest happiness that only God can grant when it comes to romantic love. Learn to love yourself before you can love others. Love the idea of unconditional love.

It's crazy. I feel as though many young people out there should know and believe that relationships aren't something that one should take lightly. There are those out there who feel like, "Why doesn't girls/guys like me?" or "Why aren't I noticed?" or "People say I'm such a good catch....but why am I single?" You know, I really can answer that for you. Being a good catch doesn't mean that you're meant for all guys/girls out there. You're someone so amazing and so special that you actually are meant for that one special person. "Why hasn't that person found me?" you ask? Well, it's not time for you. Patience is a beautiful virtue. It teaches one to learn to love what they have. It teaches one to treasure what they own. I am a victim of this quote myself. But it took me so long to realize that I am only made for one person.

To truly care about someone, you think of them before yourself. Elementary right? Sometimes, many people don't see this. Selflessness. That's the beauty of any relationship. How many people can say that they can allow someone to do what they desire? Not even myself. I'm guilty of being selfish. However, that's a lesson that all people should learn. To be selfless, is to first be patient. I guess the point of the whole blog is patience.

But going back to this wonderful feeling that is being held within my little 5'4'' body. How can someone like me, who knows about my past, be blessed with someone who can inspire me so much, someone who can teach me new things about myself and life, someone who can guide me with words of advice and listen to me, someone who can treat me with such respect and holds his own moral standards, someone who holds me high above all things that can pull me down, someone who encourages me to do things that I hold myself back in, someone who teaches me more about God every single day, someone who has always been one of my best friends for years, someone I can confide in and know that I will never be judged, someone who is my pastor, provider and protector and lastly, someone who can truly care about me and loves me unconditionally. I don't feel like I don't deserve him because he's so great, I feel like I finally deserve someone who can take care of me and hold me in check.

Sure, I could be living on cloud nine. I could be just happy and giddy from all the things that has been happening but you know, the most beautiful thing about what I write about...is that these descriptions are all descriptions of a brother and a best friend. Praise God. I still pray that God will continue to hold my heart truly. I pray that I will never give my heart fully away so that God can hold most of it where it should be. So many things I've learned and so many things I will continue to learn. I'm just so...awe-struck by how blessed I am. For real. May God be praised.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes