Ever wonder...

When certain people's blogs are about you?







....I do. Especially when they're reminiscing about love.




Or maybe, I could only be wishing or hoping they would be about me. All I have is a hopeful heart.

Best I ever had...

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was so happy being back home with certain people. Being with these people make me realize that there's so much that I left behind. My little babies are heading off to college this fall & they're all graduating this week. I'm sad I can't be there to see their commencement but I hope they all know that I'm so proud of them & I just wish I could be there. You know, talking to them about where they're going is making me so excited for them. Benjammin is off to UC Irvine, Lea is off to Vanguard, Joe is off to...I'm not sure, I haven't talked to him (HAHAHA), Winna is off to somewhere, Conrad is off to UC Irvine. I'm going to miss my little babies! However, I'll be seeing Ben & Conrad often, I feel it. Hahah. It's going to be great having one of my favorite friends going to school near me.
Ben, I swear, that kid has so much ahead of him. He's such a good guy & I swear, if I hear some girl is breaking his heart, she's in for a big surprise from me. Bahaha, protective I am. So smart, so driven, so funny, so sweet. NO LIE, one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my entire life. DON'T EVEN DARE TO MESS WITH HIM. And my little Lea. On the real, she's like my little sister. I really hope for the best for her in whatever she wants for herself. She's so smart, talented, and awesome. I can't wait to hear her stories from her first year of college when we all start again in the fall. MAN. I feel so old. HAHAHA! I can't wait for the rest of our lives. I'm just so proud of them. *SIGH*
Memorial weekend. All I can say, it's more like a MEMORABLE weekend for me. Just some great moments which made me remember why I love my friends from back home AND why I had feelings for certain people. PRRRRRRRRRRRRT! ;D

I've missed my family being all together. Just like my dog missed hers. [:

Oh Summer. I can't wait for you to come.

As much as I love being at school, I love having the feeling of being wanted back home. I don't have to try to fake being friends with anyone here. AND I don't have to worry about impressing people or feel unwanted around people. It's a sweet life back home. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Lack of a better post.

How much can you write about? You know reason why I haven't written or updated in so long is because I've kept myself occupied from something I'm scared of most. However, it's been a pretty good long few weeks. Busy with school, music, projects, lots of things are keeping me from feeling sorry for myself. Which explains the happy nature I've tried to be in lately. What's my inspiration? Hard to say, but it's actually nothing. I've just been trying to exist with a happy smile. Fake? Not at all, just living looking for a happy inspiration to keep me shooting high. Like what Katie said "Sometimes, you need a crush to help you exceed more than just bare minimum." Which is true. I mean, when I had my crush, I woke up everyday & dressed nicer than just sweats and a white v-neck so that just maybe, he'd take a second look at me, I did well on tests because I wanted to show that I was good at something so that if anything, I could help him study, I learned certain songs that so that we could jam together.
Hahahaha. Oh how kawawa this all sounds. But for a lack of better words, I tried to impress him which in the end turned out to be a waste for a future relationship BUT it made me a better person. It made me happy and I shot for the top. I'm not saying I'm not trying to now, but it was easier when a crush was around. Regardless, it's all good in the hood. Not like I'm looking for sympathy but rather, a place I can go to for ventilating.

So for now, I'm going to put all my feelings in one place & throw it back up to where it belongs because if it were meant to be, it would be. Yeah?

So E-board elections are tomorrow. How heartbreaking is this? I don't think people understand how hard this is for me to watch all of this happen and not be a part of it. I didn't want it for glory at all. Like I was telling Ermie, "I wanted to join this e-board and offer the talents and gifts that I have to make this Barkada group a better group. Everyone wants to give back what Barkada has done for them, but not only do I want to give back what Barkada has given me, but I want to give more to show my appreciation of how much Barkada has actually changed my life." Glory? Definitely not. I don't think Barkada is my life, but rather my 2nd family. I'll hate it at times, but I love it regardless. There are people I just can't seem to get along with, but it's not like I hate them. There are those weird people that you can't help but just laugh at because they're so awkwardly cool. It's a huge family, filled with drama, support, care, but most importantly: Love. Being in Barkada is a whole new experience. It's a great networking system, it's a great support system and it's a great way to learn more about culture, life, businesses. I just want to make the group that made ME a better person, an even better group for others to gain from. If I were running...this would be in my speech. *Sigh*
Good luck E-board 2009-2010. You'll be great. Know you've got a handful of people who would still love to help you out if ever the going gets tough.

A few days ago, I wanted to write so much about how sad I was or how ANGRY I was because of certain things, but for some random reason, I feel like it's unnecessary. It makes me an angry person. It makes me a sad person. It makes me someone that I don't want to be portrayed as. But thing is, I don't feel this way so much. I don't feel mad at anyone or sad at anyone. Jealous still, perhaps but it doesn't mean I hate you or that I'm out to get you. I just want people to like me for who I am. I just hope that people are accepting of what I want for myself as I accept what you want for yourself. I hope people aren't fake when it comes to being my friend because in all honesty, I'd rather you NOT be my friend than fake it. I just want to be on good terms with everyone because I'm not trying to be fake with anyone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not trying to show you that I'm so cool or whatever. Just to clarify everything, I just want to be friends with people. I just want to enjoy my life with people I love. If you don't want to be part of it, then fine. Let's mature up and leave the junior high/high school act behind.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Sunny days, chasin' the clouds away...

I'm definitely on my way to where the air will be sweet-ER. You know, things for some reason are brightening up for me. And I really like it. It's kind of about time for me. Things were at a low, then an amazing high then, then a really low and now it's slowly ascending up to a better high. For sure, if you really DO close one door, another door will open up for you. I believe it now. Although it hurts, it's just like I have plenty to keep my occupied. I'm going to make a TO-DO list before I graduate college...I guess that's the thing to do now. But I realized I really should or else I'll just be dilly-dallying with my college life. SO! Give me a few days. I'll come up with it. :D

In other words...



future husband. I know. We don't know it yet, but we're gonna be together for the res of our lives. :D

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

From heartache to heartbreak, for goodness sake.

Well, I just want to thank everyone who gave me advice. I really appreciate all the words you've given me. So here's what I've been given..

- just tell him. you never know what could happen.
- sometimes getting your heartbroken is how you can learn for someone who could be better.
- heartbreak is always part of it. would you rather have those moments of happiness and end it in with your heart broken or just never try and always wonder if you DID try harder would it could end up totally different?
- if you really feel that you shouldn't say anything, then don't. you feel that you're not ready and you shouldn't force yourself to do so.
- Be friends, get to know him even better than you do now. Just continue to be there. When he's ready, he will take that step and then you can take things to another level then.

Well update on how I feel: the reason why I felt this way, I learned, is because I never knew how he felt. I never knew what his thoughts were or feelings towards me. But, after talking to someone who is close to him, I got what I wanted most. I now know how he feels about me. Let's just say it isn't reciprocated. But you know, I'm actually okay with that now. I can now get over him better because I know what I wanted to know. But it doesn't mean I can't stop being friends with him. Turns out, he knew how I was feeling and he started to already step back. Which honestly, wasn't too great of a move but it's alright. I just want to keep him in my life as my friend than anything else. The only thing I didn't like about how this all turned out is my jealousy for someone else who is now having the same amount of attention I used to have. You can see it in all things public. The part that hurts is that she even knows how I feel and it's kind of like "Why aren't you doing anything to stop it? You know how I feel about him? How could you let me down?" But question is, how can I be selfish and only think of myself? You know, here's what I've finally admitted...whatever makes you happy, will literally make me happy. I just want the best because you are the best and if I'm not the best for you, then I hope you do find that person. Time to pick up my slack and move on. Danielle, you didn't give up or continue to just keep chasing pavements...you're walking off the pavement and onto the streets in hopes of getting back onto the road. It'll be a hard time to take in everything and to get over it all especially when I'm around him BUT I'll be okay. I always end up being okay. When all hope fails, tomorrow will always be a brighter day. Thanks everyone.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Ain't no story of heartaches and pains

Boys, guys, men.

"I need a man."..."I want a boyfriend."..."I want a real man."..."I love boys."

These statements are what make the realization of what you really want...more of a lack of reality. There are way too many girls out there who desire for a relationship. Especially girls of a young and youthful age. Sure we all feel like we want to be liked by a guy or even get attention from but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen tomorrow. Here's the thing...I feel like it's been the end of the world for me just recently. You know how when you're single, you make this list. This list is a list of standards of what kinda guy/girl you want, what qualities they must have, what you want them to be like. You're dream guy/girl. I have a list (I must admit, it's ridiculously long. Haha). But not only do I have a list...I have met someone with every little thing that is completed on this list in perfection. How often does this happen? NOT VERY. It's been the most ridiculous past few months with my feelings and this guy. This guy is..amazing. He has all of it. He has all of this and more! It's like, he popped out of list out of no where. Honestly. It's a new feeling for me. When he described his perfect girl, it's like..."I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU DESCRIBED ME!" (with all conceitedness aside). I've never felt this way about someone before. We actually hit it off pretty well. It was like we were heading in the right direction for a relationship. Everyone could see it. We were both happier when we were together. We were together a lot. We'd show up to events together. It seemed like we both had feelings for eachother but we didn't tell eachother that. But here's what happened...things started to change. It felt like all of a sudden, this lack of feeling just left..not from me, but from him. This is actually one of the things I'm scared of. R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N. I'm scared to let someone into my life to feel like I'm being used. I'm scared of disappointment that things are going to 180 around from happiness. This is where it seems to be heading. Heading straight for heartache and heartpain. This time, I have no advice for myself. I have nothing to say for myself so I'm going to ask you: How would you deal with this?


Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

--Danielle Delos Reyes

My family's role is so important...

I never really realized how my family is so awesome. Like, not just my immediate family but my relatives from my dad's side and from my mom's side. It's really cool how we're all growing up and we decide to find each other on blogspot, facebook, etc. My cousins that I always thought were so much older than me, actually have a lot in common with me. Honestly, it's so awesome how much I can relate and talk to them. I love how we're closer than I think. I can only hope and wish this feud between families will end with US. Even if they're like 5-8 years older than me, we're all adults now and we can relate and connect in a way that we never could've when we were younger. How awesome! I just wanted to say, I love my family and I can't wait for family reunions in the future. It's gonna be a great one. --I'm a family oriented girl-- [:


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

I'm proud to be a FILIPINO-AMERICAN.

So these past few days, I've never felt so much pride to be a Filipino-American. It's an accumulation of my very first PACN, Pacquiao winning against Hatton in 2:59 on Round 2, inviting a lot of my non-Filipino friends to enjoy some Filipino food, ETC. I've never felt so proud to be what I am today. I never thought that I would be understanding and learning more and more about the culture. I never thought I would LOVE every bit of the lessons and history of the Philippines. Honestly, my heart is truly learning what it means to be a Filipino. Just like what Lori had to write about in this year's PACN for Barkada, "Ikaw Pa Rin": What it means to be Filipino.

To my first years: THANKS SO MUCH! WE DID IT! Our first COLLEGE PACN! We had so much heart for this PACN and I know it for sure. Come on, look at the CAST! Frank: IAM Patrick Ocampo (FIRST YEAR), Manager: Kevin Hsu (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Francine: Zugey Kumagai (FIRST YEAR), Jun: Joseph DeJesus (FIRST YEAR), Chito: Jay Luzon (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Cara: Lauren Motis (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Rapist boys: Greg Natividad, Justin Nguyen (FIRST YEARS), Boy 1: Rico Pascual (FIRST YEAR), Emmerich: Karl Flores (FIRST YEAR), Fraternity boys: Charles Manabat (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Wonderkid: Shea Salinas (FIRST YEAR), Sara: Diane Yabut (FIRST YEAR), Rachel: Charlene Mag-Iba (FIRST YEAR, Barkada), Francine's Posse: Danielle Delos Reyes (FIRST YEAR). I mean, come on guys! We are almost half of the entire cast! How awesome is it for us to have so much heart in this PACN! I can't even express my thanks to you guys for making my very first (maybe even yours as well) PACN the best I've ever had. Let's continue to shoot for the best & make the next few years the best we've ever had! Kasi, IKAW PA RIN (well, US). :D

This year's PACN is something very important for me. For my family to drive out here to Pomona (well Glendora) & watch their daughter & granddaughter perform something they used to perform when they were younger was touching to them, as they've told me. For my parents to go from "I don't trust Barkada" to "I like Barkada" is so important to me. It's like a relationship: I want my parents to approve. But it's not just that. This PACN was a lot of firsts for me. I've never danced a traditional Filipino dance before. I've never done Binisuan before. I've never danced Tinikling before. Not just that, I've never sang the Philippine National Anthem ever in my life. I've never known what the words were or what they meant. I've never spoken so much Tagalog in my life. I've never had a huge production like this before about CULTURE. For me to learn all of this in about 2-3 months is something so...breathtaking. To see everyone's passion in trying to get things together, to teach others how to dance, to teach people how to say words in Tagalog, to teach the WORDS of the anthem of our homeland. HOW PASSIONATE. Even though these are people's 3rd, 4th, maybe even 5th or more PACN, I think I can honestly say I have learned so much for this being my very first. Who cares if you've had PACN before, it's about what you learn EVERY PACN. It's about how much heart you give everytime. It's about what YOU put into it that will make it all worthwhile. Which is why for me, this PACN will always and forever be my favorite. Even though I don't have anything to compare it to, this is what changes my mind about so many things. For me to come from Bakersfield: NO Filipinos. NO culture. NO pride, to all of a sudden be bombarded with culture, it's amazing that I can't even take it all in at once! But it's so awesome. It's like eating Mango-Peach pies from Jollibee. You love it so much and you eat so much of it, but you're so full and you can't take anymore but you still keep eating! Okay bad analogy but this is how it feels. Not only do I love Barkada even more, but I love being a Filipino-American. I love my culture. I love being who I am and where I am today. Time to share and show what I've learned and am continuing to learn with the rest of the world with my head held high & a smile that says: I'm proud to be a Filipino-American.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes