Basic Rant.

You know, before I came here, I felt like I was so good at certain things. I felt like I could overtake a lot of things. Wow, what a big slap in the face. Apparently, I'm really not good at anything that I used to be good at. Academically. How much more discouraged can a person get? How many times do I have to fail for me to think "Wow, I suck" because it's happening right now. I used to think that things were my specialty. But how in the world can I fail so hard right now? I feel like the biggest failure right now. I feel like I can never get what I want no matter how hard I try. How can I be shot down so hard and so often? Who is out to get me right now? How much do I have to cry to realize that I'm not what I think I am? Who am I kidding? I'm just failing so much right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I've never felt so lost before. I've never felt so misguided by so many things. Where is the road? Where is the track? I feel like I'm walking an open field. Walking into an ocean thinking I could swim when in reality, I suck at it. Time to rethink about my life. Time to rethink about school. Time to rethink about my goals. Time to rethink about everything that I've ever wanted & dreamed...and time to think realistically. I need to stop kidding myself.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"Improvisations are what make life interesting..."

Desire. It's interesting to think about how much a person could WANT something so badly. See for me, when I want something, I make it a point to get it no matter what. However, what does a person do when that desire slowly starts to deteriorate? What does a person do when that fire slowly starts to become discouraged no matter how much you put into it? What a conflict, right? What can you do when that happens? Well, it's hard to keep spirits up. It's hard to hold your head up saying to yourself, "I can do this." What else is there for you when your desire, your goal, becomes a dream deferred?

Lately, this has been me. My hopes and dreams of something I've wanted so badly has slowly started to discourage me and obstacles slowly start to become harder in which I end up finding myself standing there thinking, "what am I going to do now?" and "what else is out there for me?" How hard it hurts to think that you are giving up on yourself. Maybe you're not giving up on yourself, but it's like all the world is giving up on you. What are your second options? What's your plan? What to do now?
See, I admire those people who can "ride the wave" and see where life takes them. They're happy. They just live life. But how can one live like that knowing that the world is coming down on them. Okay not literally, but economically? With the economy falling, people end up letting go of what they want, and becoming what they HAVE to be. All dreams, desires, goals slowly die out. It hurts. It hurts to know that I might not get to do what I want. It hurts to think that I might not get to be what I want. Worry. Worry is the best word to describe it. Sure, it's not a good thing to be, worried. But the thing is, worry makes me go back and focus back on God. Worry makes think ahead & plan ahead. Sure, it's stressful. But that's what happens to me.

Don't you hate when you have to plan out a whole day, hour by hour? Sigh. That's my life. I feel like there's no room for improvise. Improvisations are what make life interesting. It's where you learn about your life and how to deal with certain things. When you're too busy trying to fulfill those desires, how can you grow into a HUMAN BEING? There's no room for life. Sigh. It's a tough life out there, isn't it?
So what do we do now? Well, as the saying goes "Let go and Let God". We just have to keep ourselves knowing that our lives are in God's hands. He has our lives planned out and we just have to be who we are. Making rash decisions without consulting God first is like walking into an ocean not knowing how to swim. I guess I just have to keep my head up. Life is going to change. Maybe not the way we want it to or aiming to, but our lives are in good hands. We should make time for life to happen. We need to be a human being. We need to be alive. No more dead zombie (if you know about me, I got scared actually just writing that word. HAHAHA) schedules. & most importantly...
Smile. I promise, it makes life that much more bearable. Because when you think about it...we have it better than those out there.



(How ironic how the song playing as I end this blog is Let It Go - Gavin Degraw. Look it up. Hahahah.)


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Take that, rewind it back. Lil' Jon got the beat to make your booty go....

SMAAAAAAAACK! :D





I am happy. [:

"On the real...say FML again, and I will FYL."

Life is too wonderful to sit and complain about. Life is too short to only look at things that aren't going your way. I don't think people understand to the amount of how much your life is worth to others. Sure, it's my life you may think. But maybe that's what's wrong with everyone nowadays. Only thinking about yourselves.

My freshman year of college, I did a study about our generation of people. We're called the "Y Generation" Why you ask? Well, it's because we base everything on ourselves. Why do you go to school? Because YOU want to be successful in life. The internet holds profile pages called MYspace & FACEbook. Put it together, you get pretty much what the internet is about: MY FACE. We always want something for ourselves. Sure, I'm generalizing pretty harshly but honestly, tell me I'm wrong if I am. Because right now, I'm pretty sure I'm right. How would you answer that question if you didn't want to base it off yourself you ask? Well. "I go to school because I want to contribute to making the world a better place for everyone else. I want to help people." Ahh...the communitive answer.

Thing is. Why are people so unhappy with their lives? Sure, it's understandable when things really do happen that is out of our control & I respect that. But when little things happen, we just feel like the world is gonna die & things aren't going our way. Man. Sure, I admit myself to being like that. I'm human too. But who are you to hold a grudge to your entire day to mess up the entire week. Or even, other people's days? Now, you're just a bully....bully. But being unhappy about something in your life is different than being unhappy WITH your life. You can control your life. You know that right? Oh, you do? Just checking. Unhappy with your life? Fix it. Moping about something doesn't do ANYONE good. (Oh believe me, I'm actually giving myself advice right now too. HAHA) OH and don't go around cursing everything about your life. Speaking of cursing...

The excessive use of FML is just ridiculous. Sure it's a saying, but to really say "F*** my life". It's like saying you hate your life from something so minute or maybe something so major. But is it really necessary to say it? Some people WISHED they had the life that you lived. How selfish can we be to say F*** MY life. I think people need to realize that life is not about you. It's not about how everyone is out to get you because honestly, people don't care. Well they do to an extent of care. But it becomes ABSOLUTELY ridiculously when you say to just F*** your life. You crazy. I bet your life is awesome, but for some reason...you spilled spaghetti on that white vneck shirt before going to your class with that cute person of the opposite sex that you're trying to impress. Oh FML. Or you're so sad because a boy doesn't like you or notice you for all the hints on your wall posts/comments. Oh FML. Or you're so upset because you forgot your password to your self-idolized webpages. Oh FML. On the real...say FML again, and I will FYL. It's getting to the point where it's ridiculous because now, you're making your perfectly good life a worthless piece of shiiiii.......crap.

So for those of you who now realize that your life is actually a whole lot better than those who can't even AFFORD to have a horrible life, they just HAVE one because of things they cannot control within their lives, I hope you realize that saying FML or ranting on the internet about your life so other people can read it & ask you "Oh! Tell me what happened!" (which, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of doing at one point of my life) is, well...let's put it this way. I don't care? I don't know. Maybe others do, but speaking for those who honestly just don't care about your FML'd life that in reality is great, we don't exactly give that kind of sympathy. That's what you wanted right? Too bad. Besides, you think that the people of the Philippines who were hit by Typhoon Ondoy said "Oh crap. A typhoon hit us. FML." I'm pretty sure they didn't.

No wonder why teen suicide is higher than usual in our generation than any other generation combined since the Baby Boomer era.

The use of FML or any self-idolized website have actually caused a huge rise in teen suicides because of self-confidence. Sure you may think it sounds stupid & irrational. But infact, it's true. There's other more important things in life than to think about yourself. Those whose life is great except for that one small factor (broken heart from a breakup, lack of friends on Facebook/Myspace, no views on Blogspot) you need to realize that life is WAY too amazing to be thinking of things like that. Let me tell you now, our generation is so selfish that we want to end our lives because something wasn't going our way. News flash: It's not about you. So, maybe if you do something about your life, if you change it to make your life better & EVENTUALLY WORK on your own life, you'll find happiness.

In the meantime, shut up with the use of FML & maybe you'll see that your life is actually great & you'll eventually start saying MLIG.

Peace & love.

Btw: Check this out. Specific about what I was just talking about. HAHA. Although, it made me laugh. [:

http://www.bangitout.com/articles/viewarticle.php?a=2874

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Just shut up!

Honestly....




Quit your whining complaining self. Get over holding grudges. I've had just about enough of it. Get over yourself. & Don't try to make it seem like everything is aiming at you because the world does not revolve around your orbit. I'm thoroughly and ridiculously disappointed in you.

"But do we want the other person to be happy?"

Have you ever felt that you just wanted to just be with a person for a long period of time? Ever felt like, you really just want to be around a person and no one else? Ever feel like, you don't exactly want to share someone with anyone else? I've had that feeling. For me, it's a very hard feeling. It's something I personally don't like. I feel very...selfish.

You know, when we care about someone or like someone, all we want to do is be around them and talk to them. We just want to be with them. Not in the romantic sense, well maybe so, but in the sense that they make us happy. So why wouldn't we want to be with them? We want to be happy. But does that constitute the best interest for your relationship? Not so much. But do we want the other person to be happy?

Missing them, thinking of them, wanting to be with them, wanting to see them isn't a selfish idea at all. In fact, it's a very caring idea. Nothing wrong with that. But when you don't want them to do anything else BUT miss only YOU, think of only YOU, want to be with only YOU, want to see only YOU becomes the selfish idea. How is a person going to build a relationship on solely each other? How are you going to be able to have people look at your relationship from an outside perspective if you don't allow yourselves to have a third observing party? I think every relationship needs someone to look out for it. If you're gonna be selfish and want to keep that person all to yourself, how are you going to get that third party observer?

As much as you want to really care about someone & be around that someone all the time, to be selfish and keep them only to yourself and then be upset about the fact that they also have a life is not healthy. It's not a healthy way to start or continue a relationship. So ask yourself, is your relationship with a certain person based on selfish thoughts? Or do you allow each other to learn and grow from other people who help make the relationship a bit more interesting? I'm not trying to say what selfish is per se, but it's more of a question to ask yourself. Are you being selfish? Do you get upset when that certain person is busy for a good reason? Do you find yourself only wanting that person to spend time with you? Those are questions you should ask yourself when defining a relationship. It's the definition of what your relationship is built on.

However, there are situations in which someone may be selfish in a way that's uncaring. For example, not considering another person's feelings or even caring about what they think about spending time with them to do your own thing. Or not allowing yourself to spend time with that person because of your own desire or want. See, the defining point in which selfishness is applicable is based on how the relationship is between two people. If you two have mutual feelings, then each relationship should be agreed upon 50-50. If you like the person, then being selfish in only wanting that person to spend time with you isn't healthy. It may vary amongst people, but I really believe and truly think that each relationship should not be based on selfish feelings at all. Regardless of how you feel about someone. You can't keep someone all to yourself and neither can you keep someone who likes you waiting when you don't feel the same. Two different kinds of selfishness, same aspect of hurt.

Overall, I think each person needs to evaluate where you stand on selfishness for your relationship. Consider the other person's feelings. That's the focus and that's the solution. If each person considered the other half of a relationship, there would be more smiles between couples. Don't you agree?


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"But you're time isn't up..."

You know, it's funny. When you go onto other people's Facebooks or Myspace (not like I go there anymore) or Twitter. You realize that you kinda miss them. Or you realize that you're glad you don't talk to them anymore. It's interesting how the human mind chooses to keep who they want within it's memories and daily thoughts. Unless you stumble upon these people and you try to remember what happened between you and this person (or you're screaming and jumping up and down for joy because you and this person are so far apart now). Either way, you're still thinking about the person you look up. For some strange reason, I stumbled upon some old old, OLD exes within my past. Just say, an interesting thought came across my mind.

How often do you think about a guy/girl you once were with and realize that you miss that person? Not often? Often? NEVER?! Well you know, I wouldn't say I would never miss that person again (with an honest exception of one) but I wouldn't say I did miss them to the point where I'd want them back. I miss them because there was a change in me when I was with them. There was a change where I was happy and they brought out my happiness. In a romantic sense? Nahh..but in the most beautiful sense that I could've ever wanted: A friend. They were my boy-FRIENDs. They were people who have hurt me, yes. They were people that I have hurt, even so. However, regardless of what they've done to me or I've done to them, they were always, my friend at one point or another. I do want to know what's new with them. I do want to hear about their lives nowadays, even though it may hurt me. Why? Because I'm a friend. I am THEIR friend. I am a person, who hates losing friends.

So as you look back on those pictures of them and their new girlfriend/boyfriend or their status says their with someone new, how do you react to this? Jealous, angry, pitiful? Or are you happy, excited, joyful because they're happy? Sometimes, when we feel jealous, it's because we are not happy and we are not being a FRIEND to this person. It's understandable to feel upset because you want this person back, but how much anger can a person have towards someone who is happy? Sure it may be unfair to you, but you're time isn't up. You'll forever be happy one day too. Maybe, you're even happy now. But on the real, as hard as it is, be happy for them. They made you happy & you know what they're capable of doing to bring happiness to someone else. I'm not saying that I do feel jealous, but I'm not saying I don't. The feeling I have is friendly, let's not forget. Hahaha. Not all entirely a romantic sense.

How many times can you say that you've looked through your old exes and realized that you miss them? I say that somewhat often to some of them. These exes all had a part of my life that they grew from. Both of us grew from each other and when you see them now, you realize you had a part in their life which now is apparent in their new girlfriend/boyfriend. How cool right? Never be bitter about an old flame. Why? Because you will always be part of their lives no matter what. You have put some type of seed within them to where they will always have a part of you in them. If you don't want that to happen because they're such douchebags? Well, maybe that good part of you that you left will change him/her for the better. All I can say now is, they were your boy/girl-FRIENDS. Let's not forget how big of a change they put in us. For the better. Because if it weren't for them, would we be who we are today? Didn't think so.




--Danielle Delos Reyes

"It doesn't choose where to go..."

Say it again for me, 'cuz I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one that blows your mind.

I love writing about love. Hahahah. Well, what I believe is love for myself. So a few days ago, my closest guy friends and I were sitting in a tent (close spaces make people be open. Hahaha) and we were talking about relationships. They're all younger than I am, so it was rather interesting to hear what they had to say about it. One of them said "Love is not a feeling. It's a decision." Another said, "Love is a promise." Another one of them said "Love is a commitment." You know, it's really an interesting topic because I can't even say what love is for sure. Well, romantic love.

You know what I think love is? I believe love has no eyes so it doesn't choose. Love can't be seen, per se. It's something that is given and felt. God is love. You can show "care" and "hospitality" which eventually makes you loving. But you give those things right? Love is never judging. It doesn't choose where to go. Love is never jealous. If "love" causes you to feel upset, then it's not love. This is a rather touchy subject and I don't want to get full into detail about what I believe love is. But I think we can all agree on these few things. Love is not just a something to someone. You have to be able to love yourself before you can love anyone or else, what are you giving? Right?







Just a thought. [:


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"The things that don't kill you, will make you stronger..."

You know, I'm sitting here because last night, I actually had something to write about. But after dealing with today, I feel like what I was going to write about had more than just happy feelings.

Ever wonder how much impact people's words had on you? When I was younger, I smiled when my teacher would say "good job Danielle!". However, I cried when someone would say, "You have ugly light-up shoes!". When I got to middle school, I smiled when someone told me, "You have the cutest outfit on." However, I cried when someone told me, "You don't fit in with us." When I got to high school, I smiled when boys would notice me and tell me, "Dang, you're cute." However, I cried when girls would tell me, "You're such a (insert degrading word of choice here)." When I got to college, I smiled when I would hear, "Wow, amongst all these kinds of people, you can stay a virgin." However, I cried when someone told me, "I don't want to be with you because you ARE a virgin." Ladies and gentlemen, words have the biggest impact on an person.

Sure this all sounds so elementary. But people tend to forget. People tend to just say things that are on their mind without even thinking about it. Either good or bad. Words can make or break someone. Yeah, basic statement. But it's hard to stop to think about what you have to say before you say it. Even I, myself, have a problem with it.

So how does a person stop and listen to what they have to say before they say it? I suppose it's just habit. It's a habit that we all must break. Sometimes, one needs to realize that the words that are said must be, well, kind. The Golden Rule has been forgotten. "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Kind words aren't hard to say, but are definitely hard to find from a lot of people. Even if it's someone you can't stand or aren't chill with, I think your words could be that change in a person. What does it hurt being kind to people?

You know, words can determine life or death too. Sad to say, so many people have committed suicide due to hurtful words. How can humans shoot each other down so much? However, if you are a victim of hurtful words, how do you grow out of it? How do you get it out of your head? Well, even I am still trying to get hurtful words out of my head. Just let it in one ear and go out the other. Someone once told me "The things that don't kill you, will make you stronger." Stand strong. Stay strong against the things people say. However, be kind. Kindness needs to be passed on more often.


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"I can get used to this..."

(I think the best writing comes in the morning, btw)

You know, after many times of looking through old myspaces, old facebook comments...I've come to the conclusion. I'm fully healed. I'm happy. I'm 100% over so many things that have happened to me in which it has changed me for the better. Sure, I'm young. But I've had plenty of experiences that have hurt me emotionally and have made me cautious in ways that I wish that I would never hope to be. But you know, I look back at these people, these boys, these experiences, these situations and smile because I did it. I made it out & I'm happy. I'm strong. I'm driven. I am able to turn down these things and completely let go. I mean, it took me a long time ago but I can get used to this. I wake up with a smile because I know I'm no longer stuck in a situation that can hurt me or ruin my outlook on how I feel about life. I look at these boys that once hurt me and say "Good luck with yourself." I can look at old friends and say "I'm glad you're happy." PTL. I've never been happier to be living or been happier to be who I am today. So all you people who have hurt me, challenged me, let me down, disappointed me, mistreated me, played me, etc. PTL for you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the person I'm proud to be today. Let go and Let God. Peace.



-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"For me, mine is huge..."

House. Defined as a place you live. A place you reside. A place that holds all your junk. A place that people live in. How many houses have you had? Okay okay, I see you're catching on. Hahaha, I tried to make it so metaphorical and so deep sounding in the beginning. On the real though, how many times can you say you've lived in a HOUSE and not a HOME?

Every single day, after a long day of work, school, whatever it is that we do during the day, we go back to what you would call...a HOUSE. Maybe you don't live in a house. Maybe you live in an apartment. Maybe you live in a condo. Maybe you live in a dorm. Or maybe, you don't have a place to live per say. But somehow, you have a place to reside when you finish your day off. This, my friends, is what you would call a house (or place of rest, those of you who are nit-picky about my use of the word)

But inside this house is what? Furniture. A laptop with Facebook, Gmail, Blogspot & Pandora all open at the same time. People. Not just any people, right? People that you call, family, perhaps friends, or even family friends. But, you don't live alone. Do you? If you said yes, you have neighbors. You're not alone, silly. So you live with your family. What constitutes family for you? People who pay for all the things you need/want/desire. People who gave birth to you & consistantly nag you for everything. People who steal your clothes & uses things without asking you. People who yell all the time because of something so minute. If you see it this way, you, my friend, need to relook at your family & see exactly why you were placed on this Earth with this certain family. Whomever they are, it's amazing what plans the big man upstairs has for you with this family. Now this, is what you can call...a HOME.

You know, blood family doesn't have to be THE family. Maybe your family consist of people you're not even related to. Maybe your family consists of step-whatevers or foster-whatevers. But you know, the love and the care that is brought to your family is the most beautiful thing that is given by the family. Sure you may not see it now, but when you take a step back and look at everything and not consider the words "me" or "i" then you'll see. You'll see what I'm talking about.
For me, mine is huge. It consists of many people that I consider my family. I've got my blood relatives, my brothers and sisters in the community, my friends within Barkada, my longtime friends from high school or longer, my dorm friends. You know, there's just too many to name. My family is what backs me up whenever I need help. My family is the only people I know who won't trade their loyalty to the family for something so unimportant & selfish. My family are the only people I know who will give me advice on things I need to know. I love my family. No matter how much arguing there may be. No matter how much blood, sweat & tears go into my family. No matter how many times I can say "#$@% YOU FOR BEING SO IRRATIONAL". My family knows me, they care for me, they provide for me, they respect me & most importantly, they love me. Take a second to look back at your family, blood, immediate, & extended family. Peace.


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

"Not romantically but obsession wise."

My attempt to vent out upon a blog that has no particular way of judging me has appealed to me in so many different situations in which I am able to let go and let my thoughts run, not abiding by any forms of regulation. In short, thank you blog for existing as I vent every single time something bothers me or I'm exploding with happiness. Either way, I'm glad to have something I can always write to whenever I feel like it.

You know, I don't have very pet peeves. I don't have very many things that annoy me or make me mad. Or even piss me off for that matter. Those of you who know me can generally say that I'm a happy person. I don't like to be part of drama, I don't like to hurt people on purpose. I am just your average girl who just likes to be happy and fun with everyone that I can. However, you piss me off, swear, you'll realize that I'm pissed off and you won't wanna do it again.

The one thing that gets me most are people who are ignorant and inconsiderate. That includes selfishness & attention-getting. How many people are like that in the world? Plenty. Even my friends are like this. You know, I'm not one to call someone out on the internet, but my friends are. You know those AIM statuses or Facebook statuses, Twitter, etc. Really now, in the words of Mushu from Mulan, "Say it to my face, you limp noodle!" What bothers me most is when they are so engulfed with their own unhappiness that they try to bring others down. Forreal though, you gotta problem...handle it yourself! Don't involve people that are happy on their own. I understand that you need a place to vent, but the internet is NOT where you call someone out.

I find this rather ironic that I'm writing about this online. (Secret laugh) But then again, there's a lesson to this, I promise.

When people post up their feelings online, they're looking for attention. Maybe not so much, but they want people to know, which essentially is getting attention. Agreed? So you're wanting to start drama if you put up a status concerning someone else that other people know about. You're waiting for someone to say "What happened?" or "what's up with your status?" Forreal dough, not many people are gonna ask because they're smart enough to know that it's drama. You got dramatic friends? Go tell them. IN PERSON or IN PRIVATE. Not all over the internet.

You know, since the internet was created, it's been a blessing AND curse. I can find anything I want online, which is a pro. I can find anything I don't want online, which is a con. Lately, when it comes to relationships with people, friends, family...I find out things that I, personally, do not attain to or rather agree with. For that matter, I find myself somewhat put down by certain people. Which brings me to the idea: What the HELL did I do to you!? Basically, what do you want me to do? Go down at your feet and say "I'm sorry for being so happy!" HELL to the NO. Forreal. Like, I don't mean to make this a specific rant, but you can agree with me, yes?

So we've agreed we've all felt this way. How do I solve it now? Well, if you're not gonna come to my face, then I'm gonna go to yours. If your friendship is worth it (in my case, ALL my friendships are worth it.) then you be the bigger, more mature person. I know I kinda sound like a hypocrite writing about it now, but actually I just wanted to get my feeling out (whether you see it or you don't) and help others who feel the same way. I think that if that person is really writing about you all over the internet, they're really exploiting how much they're in love with you. Not romantically but obsession wise. Like Mariah Carey says "Why you so obsessed with me?" Hahahahah. Makes me wanna sing the song. No lie. But on the real. I guess that's what needs to be done. Besides, if you know you didn't do anything or aren't guilty of anything for them to REALLY be mad at you about, then whatever. They can say whatever they want about you or complain all they want, but in the end, who's really the most unhappy person? They are.


-- Danielle Delos Reyes


Ps. Sorry for the lack of pictures. I swear, next post will have pictures! [:

"It's not quite a marriage...""

You know, I'm so inspired. A mixture of Melissa Polinar and Jeremy "Passion" has brought me so many thoughts into my head. You know, I just want to say that I am so happy to admit to myself that I have my heart so well protected and looked out for by someone so amazing. Someone so special. Like, as Melissa Polinar writes "Here's my heart. Here's every part of me. I give it away and I'm here to stay."How beautiful. How amazing to make me inspired to feel the way I do. I'm not in love, no, not yet. But I am happily cared for in such a way that I can no longer express through words. Passion's lyrics are so beautiful..."As long as you wait for me, please save a space for me." You know, I just have his song on repeat for myself.

I have so much inspiration to make something work. I have so much inspiration to just let something strive. Something that means so much to me. I'm young, but that's what I'm thankful for. The youth that I do have, is what makes me realize how much I've got to learn from someone and others around me. Things are so amazing. I don't even know how to express in any more words the amazing feeling that I have been blessed with.

Sometimes I question whether or not I have my heart out in my hand. Whether or not I'm living into the moment than thinking about the future. I'm not looking to get married. I'm not looking for a lifelong relationship just yet. But you know, as I told my mom today, " I'm not looking for a marriage relationship. But you know, if God allows, I'm more than okay with being with that person for a really long time." "Honey, we'll make it."

I'm not writing to say how mushy love I feel right now. But I just want to write about how amazing I feel inside. I sit here and shake my head with a huge smile on my face as I write. I feel as though these expression of words does not even compare to the feeling that I have on my heart and mind. Maybe it's the giddy talking, but also I'm just so inspired. I'm inspired to treat him so differently. I'm inspired to be the best that I can be. I owe him this much to be true and honest with him.

So why do I feel the urge just to write about my loving feeling I have in my system in this blog you may ask? Well, you know I look back on all the relationships, all the boys that have come and gone in the past and I realize...I'm so immature. I thought of the title "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" as just a name. But, it's more than that. It's a commitment to knowing that you've singled yourself out for that one special person. It's not quite a marriage, but it's on the way towards that. If you don't agree, then you're not on the right track with the idea of dating. I feel like, I've been so inspired so much by people that I hold so dearly in my heart. I believe that the guarding of my heart that I've had ever since "I kissed dating goodbye" has taught me the most important lesson of all: Patience. To wait for the biggest happiness that only God can grant when it comes to romantic love. Learn to love yourself before you can love others. Love the idea of unconditional love.

It's crazy. I feel as though many young people out there should know and believe that relationships aren't something that one should take lightly. There are those out there who feel like, "Why doesn't girls/guys like me?" or "Why aren't I noticed?" or "People say I'm such a good catch....but why am I single?" You know, I really can answer that for you. Being a good catch doesn't mean that you're meant for all guys/girls out there. You're someone so amazing and so special that you actually are meant for that one special person. "Why hasn't that person found me?" you ask? Well, it's not time for you. Patience is a beautiful virtue. It teaches one to learn to love what they have. It teaches one to treasure what they own. I am a victim of this quote myself. But it took me so long to realize that I am only made for one person.

To truly care about someone, you think of them before yourself. Elementary right? Sometimes, many people don't see this. Selflessness. That's the beauty of any relationship. How many people can say that they can allow someone to do what they desire? Not even myself. I'm guilty of being selfish. However, that's a lesson that all people should learn. To be selfless, is to first be patient. I guess the point of the whole blog is patience.

But going back to this wonderful feeling that is being held within my little 5'4'' body. How can someone like me, who knows about my past, be blessed with someone who can inspire me so much, someone who can teach me new things about myself and life, someone who can guide me with words of advice and listen to me, someone who can treat me with such respect and holds his own moral standards, someone who holds me high above all things that can pull me down, someone who encourages me to do things that I hold myself back in, someone who teaches me more about God every single day, someone who has always been one of my best friends for years, someone I can confide in and know that I will never be judged, someone who is my pastor, provider and protector and lastly, someone who can truly care about me and loves me unconditionally. I don't feel like I don't deserve him because he's so great, I feel like I finally deserve someone who can take care of me and hold me in check.

Sure, I could be living on cloud nine. I could be just happy and giddy from all the things that has been happening but you know, the most beautiful thing about what I write about...is that these descriptions are all descriptions of a brother and a best friend. Praise God. I still pray that God will continue to hold my heart truly. I pray that I will never give my heart fully away so that God can hold most of it where it should be. So many things I've learned and so many things I will continue to learn. I'm just so...awe-struck by how blessed I am. For real. May God be praised.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Sway.

Ever had that feeling that you just wanna shout out "I LOVE LIFE!" You know, I feel that way every single day. I couldn't be happier. Actually, I could. I seem to be happier each and every single day of my life. Sure I started my year roughly. REALLY roughly. BUT you know, I am so lucky. I'm so lucky to have certain people in my life. I'm so lucky to be the way I am today. I'm so lucky to be loved. AHHHH...short post but, I LOVE LIFE! :D


And you, thanks so much for being you. Thanks so much for looking out for me & giving me advice always. Thanks for everything. I feel like I should say this more to you. [: But, thank you.



Thank you Tony Bennett for being the singer of my future wedding song. [:

M.I.A.

Missing In Action.

MAN! It's really been a while since I've really blogged about something. [Puts Pandora on RnB/Soul mix]. Better. Way to get the mood in. So lately it's been a pretty crazy life of mine. You know, while I read some other people's blogs, I feel as though only MY life has been going great so far. I mean, I feel as though everything in my life should be there. So as I'm listening to this...I feel like I should write about something...specific. Hahaha.

So here's a question that I feel should be imposed upon many of the readers of this blog: How do you celebrate one's birthday? Do you think birthdays are just a commercial holiday and that people make them more than they really are? Is it more than just a free day inside of Disneyland or 8 free tokens at Chuck E Cheese's? Is it more than just having a party and everyone knowing that you're turning a year older? Is it more than purchasing someone a present that is worth $200 as opposed to someone who just buys things at the dollar tree and decorating the celebrant's room?

Since when were birth-days of buying expensive gifts? Since when were birth-days exposed as how rich or how popular one is by the amount of gifts one gets? Whatever happened to heartfelt messages of good luck and good health? Hahaha, I know this sounds super old-fashioned. But it's rather true. Notice, the older you get, the less a birth-day becomes important. I don't mean to say that in such a negative vibe, but is it not the truth? Once you actually turn 21, the youth of your life is basically over. Once you turn 18, you realize that you can go to jail for things that you never knew you could go to jail for. Once you turn 40, you're considered "over the hill" and you're about ready to, to put in morbid terms, die. Once you turn 25, you're considered a quarter life old. MAN! Birth-days are a crazy concept, no? I don't mean to make it sound so sad. Hahah. But actually the reason of this post is to describe the reality of HOW one can celebrate one's birthday in a heartfelt/meaningful way in which no one has to worry about the "age" in which one may turn.

So spending a million dollars on a person may seem like they're worth it. However, what's a handwritten letter & maybe a hug worth? An Ipod, Iphone, drum set, new car, etc. How much will these things make you happy? HELLA happy right?! It would make me happy, don't get me wrong. But then again, if someone wrote me a letter or did something out of the ordinary that didn't require $100 would make me smile even bigger. Sometimes people need to see the real meaning of what it means to be born. "I thank you for being born this day because without you in my life..." How beautiful. If I got a letter like that, oh man. I would feel like I really mattered to this person. Instead of material thinking (however, being human, everyone would love this.) maybe thinking about WHY this person was born in your life would be a better show to them on how much they've impacted your life. Maybe they were put in this world for a reason for you. Maybe they're someone who will save you from something. Maybe they're someone who could change your life. There is no "Chance" that someone was just born in your life for no reason. So, as the greatest birthday present, tell someone how their birth was important in your life.

So, my birthday is in 17 days. August 22. [:


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Unconditional love.

"If anyone says "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

1 John 4: 20-21

Beautiful passage. Every single CFC-Youth member near and far, especially back home for me should read this. Don't pray tonight for yourself, but rather listen to Him speak to you. He's actually got a lot to say.

The Closer I Get To You

"Over and over again I try to tell myself that we could never be more than friends. And all the while inside I knew it was real. The way you make me feel."

This song is really great. It's got some of the truest lyrics that I've ever heard. All I can say is that when I heard this song, it's all that was playing in my head. All I could do was smile and say "Wow." Who would've known that something could make me smile like this?

You know, there's a whole lot I could say. But I guess I'll just save it for another day. All I can truly say is that I've never been so happy. I've never felt the way I feel I do now. As corny and as cheesy as you might be saying as you read this, I really am blessed & happy. I don't know where else I could vent all this happiness to. Most of the things I write about are unhappy things. Or things that people should realize. However, I never really let myself just write about how I'm feeling or what's on my mind truly. How perfect things have been lately. How all my "ducks are in a row". How captivating a person could be by what they LOVE the most, what their priorities are. I can't help the way I feel, but I can only protect it & treat it right. Right?

Oh, how blessed I am to have such a great friend who I can turn to at whatever time of day. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful person to keep me on the path of staying close with what's most important in my life? How blessed I am to have someone who is the most respectful person that I've ever met? How blessed I am to have someone who can be that Pastor, Provider & Protector. God, thanks so much for giving me this little bit of happiness. I only say a little bit because I know You have more planned for me and my life. AHHH! Happy. This blog is rather gross with all this happiness, but hey...you decided to keep reading. [:



-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Keep it comin' Charlie, I'm on a roll today.

Have you ever had those feelings that something feels SO right. Something feels like it needs to be where it needs to be? Ever feel like everything is so right in the world at this very moment? Have you ever had that moment where nothing could get in the way? Ever felt like nothing is impossible? That you could overcome anything that tries to push you away from this feeling?
I've had this feeling. I had this excitement of knowing that everything is just so right. I had this feeling that every person who should be in my life right now is. I felt like all the people I needed to weed out are weeded out. I felt like all the problems that were within my reach are no longer arms-length. I felt like I could just get everything I could ever need and want.

However, there is a slight problem. My conscience. There IS that something that holds me back from achieving full happiness. I can be so happy and all of a sudden, it's gone. In an instant. Ever feel like you HAVE to let something that makes you ridiculously happy go to look out for someone else who is someone you really care about. Two things you love....up for someone else. Lose something that would make me happy for a long time, maybe forever & keep a friendship or lose that friendship & keep that happiness. What if the friendship is deteriorating? What if they friendship has always been a tough one?

Is it right be happy in turns for a deteriorating friendship? Is it wrong to want something for once? Don't I get a choice in this? Don't I get to be happy? Is what I'm choosing selfish or is the fact that I can't be happy selfish on the part of someone else? Defending my own happiness seems null and void. What's the right choice? Maybe this friendship isn't worth it? Maybe this happiness isn't worth it? All I know is that I'm stuck between it. What does a person do at a time like this?




-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Oh Summer.

You've been so good to me. I must say though, I have only a few months left to finish everything I planned for the Summer & I'm no where near close. Well, even though it's already July, things have been going great lately.

- Got a job.
- Active again in YFC.
- Got back into reading for fun.
- Updated my Ipod
- Visited Katie & Kevin back in Pomomo.

However, I still didn't get to do plenty of other things:
- Visit NORCAL-ians.
- Finish the Harry Potter series.
- LOST MY GOAL WEIGHT.
- Roadtripped.

There's plenty more. But, eh. I'll do it. I promise I will. Well, about the NORCAL trip...it might not happen. UGH! We'll see. Anyway, let's keep Summer the best thing I've had all year.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Shhh...bring it down.

After watching countless Disney movies, I've realized...I forgot what it was like to be a kid. I'm raised to be someone who has to go to school and learn for my future. I'm raised to be someone who will have my dream job at my hands. I'm raised to be someone who has to network for what I want. I'm raised to be someone to get a job, make money & be happy with the pay that I have.
Since when did things like this ever stop me from remembering that not all lessons can be learned from books or from school. There are those life long lessons that you learn from just experience. Like how things were back in elementary school, where I could just play with toys & meet random people in the sandbox. Or when I could just say "Daddy, you're the best driver!" and get a toy. However, when I say that, my dad looks at me and says," Danielle, you're lame."

Sometimes we forget that we do have a kid on the inside of us. There is a kid that still loves Disney. There is a kid that still loves Transformers. There is still a kid that loves Thundercats (too old? Hahah). Once in a while, let the kid inside you play. He/she could be growing up way too fast.


Live life one step at a time. If you put too much on your plate, then that's where your future will get screwed up & everything you worked for will go to waste. Enjoy life's blessings & give the kid in you a Wall-E robot or a Transformer. [:

--Danielle Delos Reyes

I've gotta feeling...

that tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good good night..




Every day's been a good good day & every night's been a good good night. You said you read the girl you like's blog to see if the girl you like ever writes about you...here it is. [: Thanks for a great day today. I just hope for more days to come like this. You're wonderful. :D

If all days could be like this. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Knock you down.

We were never meant to be but baby we just happened.

I never thought I'd be in love like this. When I look at you my mind goes on a trip.



- God-loving.
- Sweet.
- Caring.
- Driven.
- Willing.
- Wonderful.
- Thoughtful.



So much more. Thanks for making me smile everyday. [:

She is the true meaning of JOY.

Funny how people come into your lives and you never realize how much of an impact someone has made on you until something drastic happens. Upon sitting with my family at the dinner table, we get a call: Grandma Joy (My great aunt) has passed away at 10am in the Philippines. Just this morning, my dad was telling me that we would have to go to the Philippines next week on such short notice to support the family and pay our respects to our grandma who took such great care of us. I agreed to it since I haven't seen that family since I was about 6 years old. It would be good to go back home and say hi to everyone again. However, I didn't get this chance to do so. She is in such a better place now. I know she's in Heaven. She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend, a caregiver and a wonderful person all around. She was someone who I had very much respect for even as a young little Danielle. I know she's looking down at me and my family and watching over us. She was such a beautiful lady and such a loving grandmother to us. She was one of those old ladies who sat in the rocking chair and wore her Moo-Moo. She was a cute little lady. She babysat us and even family friends' kids. She always played Chinese Checkers and was GOOD at it. She always called me "Miss Universe" saying that I was one of the most beautiful girls she's ever seen. How gracious of her to say something like that and telling me that I was someone who WAS beautiful in someone's eyes. She was such a special lady in my life and I'm sure the rest of my family's. She will be missed. Grandma Joy, I love you and I hope you're enjoying it up there with Lucky & Michael Jackson playing the game you are so great at, Chinese Checkers. Take care of us as you always have.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Complete vent.

Right now, I hate my summer. I'm flat broke. I'm super upset about the new car situation where I have to pay for part of the insurance & the newly added damages to our already damaged car. Finding a job is ridiculously hard in Bakersfield. My Norcal/Socal roadtrip is a definite NO for this summer as of tonight. As of right now, the looks on getting a new car is dunzo because of all that's been happening. Everything is going NOT the way I'd hoped. Please summer....change now.


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

The Way You Make Me Feel.

Michael Jackson

August 25, 1958 - June 25, 2009.

A singer, dancer, humanitarian, role model, creator, musical producer, legend, pop icon, peace maker, hero, friend, father, brother and nonetheless an inspiration to the entire world. Upon hearing about his death, I turned on the radio to hear how much of an impact he has on this world, "When the world heard of his death, everyone in the entire world went on the internet: myspace, youtube, facebook, twitter, etc. that the internet almost crashed." That's amazing. His death was such a huge impact on me. I felt like part of my childhood has left me. I always thought he was going to live until I had kids and they were gonna know about him. It's interesting that those who don't like him, KNOW the words to his song. That's how great this man is. He will be missed by all his fans & people around the world. So long as his music is playing, he will continue to inspire and live on forever. I know when I'm older, I'm going to introduce my kids to Michael Jackson & they are going to love him as much as I do. I will forever have respect for this man & all he's done for the world.

RIP Michael Jackson, King of Pop.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Summer flings

Heheheheheh. :D





-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Shuffle.

Once in a while, put your ipod on shuffle. You'll be surprised with what randomness comes up. It's nice to have something random come up, while at the same time you could get something you don't want. Even though you get what you don't want, you heard something new. Sometimes, something comes up that reminds you of someone that's made you sad or upset at one point of your life BUT you still listen to it and reminisce about those times. Sometimes you get something that reminds you of the old times but even though you wish those times were back, you were glad you've moved on 'cuz you've learned your lesson. Sometimes you get those songs that remind you what you were like back in the day. Sometimes, it shows what kind of maturity you've grown into.

just like with an Ipod...

Once in a while, put your life on shuffle. You'll be surprised with what randomness comes up. [:


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Back from the dead.

CFC-Youth, I'm back.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Disney-Pixar.

You know, some of the best movies I've ever watched has come from Disney-Pixar movies. Ever notice the lessons they leave you?

Monster's Inc. - Don't judge a book by its cover. There are more to life than just glory.
Ratatouille - You're never too small to do what you love.
Cars - Never forget the people who support you and have always supported you in your life.
Finding Nemo - Family will do whatever it takes to take care of you and have you in their arms again.
Meet the Robinsons - You are never too young to make your dreams come true.
Toy Story - Jealousy gets you no where.
Toy Story 2 - People always deserve a second chance.
The Incredibles - Teamwork and family will always succeed against all odds.
A Bug's Life - Never get taken advantage of; you can always refuse anything if it's unfair.
Wall-E - Take care of those you love. Love will conquer all.
Up! - Adventure is what you make of it; it's the journey you have in reaching your goals and dreams.



If only people looked at these lessons, the world would be a better place. [:
Now time to finish watching Monster's Inc. & Ratatouille tonight. Let's learn some lessons, shall we?

--Danielle Delos Reyes

Finished.

Wow, my first year of college is...done. Holy S%*$! I can officially say, I'm a second year in college. WHAT THE! Man, this year went by so fast. The one thing I regret though, is having such SUCKY grades. UGH! I'll fix it next year. I promise. Next year's grades are what's going to determine the year and how much involvement I'm going to have in the club I love so much. There's so much that has gone on all year. All I have to say is that, I don't regret anything...well a few. BUT if they didn't happen, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I must say, there's a lot for myself that I have to improve, but I'm proud of myself. I'm proud for surviving a hard year. You know, I've met so many people who have changed me to become a stronger person. I've also met so many people who have brought me down. However, every lesson is learned regardless of person.
I think that it's not only one person who has changed me, but rather a whole group of people. This is why, I love my two families away from own family here at home.

Living in Palmitas with a whole different group of people is like coming home to a family. They're always around and different people are home at random times. It's good coming back to people you can borrow stuff from or go to if you're feeling upset. Most importantly, support. Everyone just wants you to be happy and be close. We all take care of eachother, like a family. Palmitas...is like my mom's side of the family.
Barkada, is my dad's side of the family. The place where I get my personality from. Party, fun, culture, inspiration, drive, love. Everything that my personality grows from. It's good to have something like both sides of my REAL family. The two together is create my home away from home.

Graduates, I just want to say it was a real pleasure getting to know each and every single one of you. You have inspired me to shoot for the best in my academics as well as a love for my culture. You have showed me that everything is possible in college no matter how crazy it gets. Each one of you has showed me that anyone can do anything if you really focus. And most importantly, each one of you has helped me in one way or another in something & I can only thank you so much for it all. Best of luck for your futures and hopefully, I'll get to inspire you for something amazing one day.

2008-2009, You have been just fine. No matter what I went through this year, nothing can change how much I've learned. Regardless of whether or not I did as well as I would hope in all aspects of my academics, extra-curriculars, etc. I learned something new every single day. Next year will be different. Not a bad different, but rather a meaningful one. I can already feel it.

In the meantime, it's summer. Let's do this. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Please don't worry about me I'm fine...

Go on girrrrrl. Go on girrrrrl.

So, it's been one whole day...HAHA...just a day and I'm already feeling this way. It's so hard. It's hard to listen to everyone talk about this all..what am I talking about? Barkada E-board. You know, it breaks my heart every single time I think about this. It breaks my heart everytime I HEAR about it. You know, people say that it's probably harder for those who ran but lost...nothing beats the pain of regret. I sit here listening to them talk about how excited they are. Don't get me wrong, I would be extremely excited if I was on board this year. All my friends are on the board and it's just awesome to see them so happy. I just feel so...jealous. I feel rather left out when I think about it. Why? Because all they talk about is what they're gonna do to bond. Then when I ask one of them to not forget about me and make time for me (jokingly of course), and he says "Of course I will! I will always make time for members!" Ouch. I'm more than a member. I'm your friend. What ever happened to you can still be friends? I mean, they talk about E-board being a clique. I just hope you guys can change it because I'm already starting to feel it since most of my friends are on it. It's just hard to be the only one of your closest friends to not be on board. How else can I put it? I'm jealous. I'm not gonna lie. I'm so jealous. I just wish I could do what I want...but my heart is telling me to do what I need. *Sigh* Decisions I have to make, choices I have to choose from, aches I have to heal from. One day...it'll be my time. But I won't make my friends just regular people that I overrule.

--Danielle Delos Reyes

This week's to-do list.

1. Move out of my dorm.
....pack up all clothes, books, computer stuff, beddings, memories.
2. Take pictures with everyone here in Palmitas.
....2nd floor friends, 3rd floor friends & 1st floor boys. [:
3. Go to Disneyland one more time before school ends.
....Tuesday with Palmitas & Friday with Barkada.
4. Pass all 4 finals.
....Animal & Veterinary Science, Trigonometry, U.S. History & Statistics.




Doesn't sound like much. But it's all time-consuming. New blog update with my life tomorrow.

Shining Star

I wish I could be just like Mario when he gets the shining star....

INVINCIBLE.

Julian Doloroso - Live Life (Original)
I have such talented friends. [:

Braveface.

"I put on a brave face everytime I see you when you're with her" - Melissa Polinar "Braveface"

You know, every girl wants to be well-liked. Every girl wants to feel that special someone next to them. What girl doesn't want her hand to be held or that everlasting hug that everyone is envious of? So why do we us girls always question ourselves of why we're not good enough for someone? It's an interesting life we all have. Girls are competitive. Each and every single girl wants to be better than another. Especially if it's a girl who is getting attention by someone we admire most. But how can one be able to say, "You know what, I'm better than this. I don't need a man." Where do we women feel that confidence to say this? I don't think men understand what women go through every time they see us. Every girl looks into the mirror at one point and says, "I'm not good enough." Every girl at one point writes down all the things that are wrong with her. Every single girl questions herself and her own self identity.
But why? Why do we girls do things like that? Why do we all put ourselves down? It's because we are insecure. We don't trust ourselves to be beautiful. We don't allow ourselves to believe that we are something special because of a few rejections here and there. But you know what? God doesn't make ugly. We all have to believe is that we are all special and we are all different. We can't compare ourselves to girls in Cosmo, Vogue, or even our very own friends. We have to know and believe that we all have different talents and we are all beautiful in different ways. Every time we see that guy with that girl, we wonder "What's she got that I don't?" You know, it could be a lot of things, then again, it could be nothing. But why isn't he talking to you? I don't have an exact answer for that. Maybe it's not your time to be noticed. Maybe he's not the one you're destined to be with. Maybe he's just not for you. Maybe the timing is all wrong. Either way, you can't let yourself believe that it's all YOUR fault. Sometimes, things are just out of hand and you have to keep going with your head up knowing that you are someone who deserves someone who can keep up with what you believe, what you enjoy and what you love.
Maybe you'll find someone who isn't your other half, but rather someone who can complement you rather than complete. Don't shoot yourself down for being shot down. Live it, learn it, love it. Getting over something is hard but not learning from it is harder. Never question that you're not worth something for someone. If you have to ask yourself if you're good enough for someone, then you don't belong in a relationship yet. Before you can be in one, you have to love yourself first. No one can love you in place of loving yourself. Remember that regardless of how ugly, how fat , how untalented, how unworthy you think you are, you are BEAUTIFUL in someone's eyes. Where is this person now? It's up to you to wait, believe, and trust that this person is waiting for you, just like you're waiting for him. In time, when you can love yourself, you can love someone else. When you can say that you're beautiful because you are who you are, you can bounce back into the dating game. But for now, allow yourself to love YOU. You deserve it. And trust, you're not the only one who loves you for you every single day.



& this, I tell myself in times like these.


-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Ever wonder...

When certain people's blogs are about you?







....I do. Especially when they're reminiscing about love.




Or maybe, I could only be wishing or hoping they would be about me. All I have is a hopeful heart.

Best I ever had...

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I was so happy being back home with certain people. Being with these people make me realize that there's so much that I left behind. My little babies are heading off to college this fall & they're all graduating this week. I'm sad I can't be there to see their commencement but I hope they all know that I'm so proud of them & I just wish I could be there. You know, talking to them about where they're going is making me so excited for them. Benjammin is off to UC Irvine, Lea is off to Vanguard, Joe is off to...I'm not sure, I haven't talked to him (HAHAHA), Winna is off to somewhere, Conrad is off to UC Irvine. I'm going to miss my little babies! However, I'll be seeing Ben & Conrad often, I feel it. Hahah. It's going to be great having one of my favorite friends going to school near me.
Ben, I swear, that kid has so much ahead of him. He's such a good guy & I swear, if I hear some girl is breaking his heart, she's in for a big surprise from me. Bahaha, protective I am. So smart, so driven, so funny, so sweet. NO LIE, one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my entire life. DON'T EVEN DARE TO MESS WITH HIM. And my little Lea. On the real, she's like my little sister. I really hope for the best for her in whatever she wants for herself. She's so smart, talented, and awesome. I can't wait to hear her stories from her first year of college when we all start again in the fall. MAN. I feel so old. HAHAHA! I can't wait for the rest of our lives. I'm just so proud of them. *SIGH*
Memorial weekend. All I can say, it's more like a MEMORABLE weekend for me. Just some great moments which made me remember why I love my friends from back home AND why I had feelings for certain people. PRRRRRRRRRRRRT! ;D

I've missed my family being all together. Just like my dog missed hers. [:

Oh Summer. I can't wait for you to come.

As much as I love being at school, I love having the feeling of being wanted back home. I don't have to try to fake being friends with anyone here. AND I don't have to worry about impressing people or feel unwanted around people. It's a sweet life back home. [:

-- Danielle Delos Reyes

Lack of a better post.

How much can you write about? You know reason why I haven't written or updated in so long is because I've kept myself occupied from something I'm scared of most. However, it's been a pretty good long few weeks. Busy with school, music, projects, lots of things are keeping me from feeling sorry for myself. Which explains the happy nature I've tried to be in lately. What's my inspiration? Hard to say, but it's actually nothing. I've just been trying to exist with a happy smile. Fake? Not at all, just living looking for a happy inspiration to keep me shooting high. Like what Katie said "Sometimes, you need a crush to help you exceed more than just bare minimum." Which is true. I mean, when I had my crush, I woke up everyday & dressed nicer than just sweats and a white v-neck so that just maybe, he'd take a second look at me, I did well on tests because I wanted to show that I was good at something so that if anything, I could help him study, I learned certain songs that so that we could jam together.
Hahahaha. Oh how kawawa this all sounds. But for a lack of better words, I tried to impress him which in the end turned out to be a waste for a future relationship BUT it made me a better person. It made me happy and I shot for the top. I'm not saying I'm not trying to now, but it was easier when a crush was around. Regardless, it's all good in the hood. Not like I'm looking for sympathy but rather, a place I can go to for ventilating.

So for now, I'm going to put all my feelings in one place & throw it back up to where it belongs because if it were meant to be, it would be. Yeah?

So E-board elections are tomorrow. How heartbreaking is this? I don't think people understand how hard this is for me to watch all of this happen and not be a part of it. I didn't want it for glory at all. Like I was telling Ermie, "I wanted to join this e-board and offer the talents and gifts that I have to make this Barkada group a better group. Everyone wants to give back what Barkada has done for them, but not only do I want to give back what Barkada has given me, but I want to give more to show my appreciation of how much Barkada has actually changed my life." Glory? Definitely not. I don't think Barkada is my life, but rather my 2nd family. I'll hate it at times, but I love it regardless. There are people I just can't seem to get along with, but it's not like I hate them. There are those weird people that you can't help but just laugh at because they're so awkwardly cool. It's a huge family, filled with drama, support, care, but most importantly: Love. Being in Barkada is a whole new experience. It's a great networking system, it's a great support system and it's a great way to learn more about culture, life, businesses. I just want to make the group that made ME a better person, an even better group for others to gain from. If I were running...this would be in my speech. *Sigh*
Good luck E-board 2009-2010. You'll be great. Know you've got a handful of people who would still love to help you out if ever the going gets tough.

A few days ago, I wanted to write so much about how sad I was or how ANGRY I was because of certain things, but for some random reason, I feel like it's unnecessary. It makes me an angry person. It makes me a sad person. It makes me someone that I don't want to be portrayed as. But thing is, I don't feel this way so much. I don't feel mad at anyone or sad at anyone. Jealous still, perhaps but it doesn't mean I hate you or that I'm out to get you. I just want people to like me for who I am. I just hope that people are accepting of what I want for myself as I accept what you want for yourself. I hope people aren't fake when it comes to being my friend because in all honesty, I'd rather you NOT be my friend than fake it. I just want to be on good terms with everyone because I'm not trying to be fake with anyone. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not trying to show you that I'm so cool or whatever. Just to clarify everything, I just want to be friends with people. I just want to enjoy my life with people I love. If you don't want to be part of it, then fine. Let's mature up and leave the junior high/high school act behind.

-- Danielle Delos Reyes