I've had this feeling. I had this excitement of knowing that everything is just so right. I had this feeling that every person who should be in my life right now is. I felt like all the people I needed to weed out are weeded out. I felt like all the problems that were within my reach are no longer arms-length. I felt like I could just get everything I could ever need and want.
However, there is a slight problem. My conscience. There IS that something that holds me back from achieving full happiness. I can be so happy and all of a sudden, it's gone. In an instant. Ever feel like you HAVE to let something that makes you ridiculously happy go to look out for someone else who is someone you really care about. Two things you love....up for someone else. Lose something that would make me happy for a long time, maybe forever & keep a friendship or lose that friendship & keep that happiness. What if the friendship is deteriorating? What if they friendship has always been a tough one?
Is it right be happy in turns for a deteriorating friendship? Is it wrong to want something for once? Don't I get a choice in this? Don't I get to be happy? Is what I'm choosing selfish or is the fact that I can't be happy selfish on the part of someone else? Defending my own happiness seems null and void. What's the right choice? Maybe this friendship isn't worth it? Maybe this happiness isn't worth it? All I know is that I'm stuck between it. What does a person do at a time like this?-- Danielle Delos Reyes