"Improvisations are what make life interesting..."

Desire. It's interesting to think about how much a person could WANT something so badly. See for me, when I want something, I make it a point to get it no matter what. However, what does a person do when that desire slowly starts to deteriorate? What does a person do when that fire slowly starts to become discouraged no matter how much you put into it? What a conflict, right? What can you do when that happens? Well, it's hard to keep spirits up. It's hard to hold your head up saying to yourself, "I can do this." What else is there for you when your desire, your goal, becomes a dream deferred?

Lately, this has been me. My hopes and dreams of something I've wanted so badly has slowly started to discourage me and obstacles slowly start to become harder in which I end up finding myself standing there thinking, "what am I going to do now?" and "what else is out there for me?" How hard it hurts to think that you are giving up on yourself. Maybe you're not giving up on yourself, but it's like all the world is giving up on you. What are your second options? What's your plan? What to do now?
See, I admire those people who can "ride the wave" and see where life takes them. They're happy. They just live life. But how can one live like that knowing that the world is coming down on them. Okay not literally, but economically? With the economy falling, people end up letting go of what they want, and becoming what they HAVE to be. All dreams, desires, goals slowly die out. It hurts. It hurts to know that I might not get to do what I want. It hurts to think that I might not get to be what I want. Worry. Worry is the best word to describe it. Sure, it's not a good thing to be, worried. But the thing is, worry makes me go back and focus back on God. Worry makes think ahead & plan ahead. Sure, it's stressful. But that's what happens to me.

Don't you hate when you have to plan out a whole day, hour by hour? Sigh. That's my life. I feel like there's no room for improvise. Improvisations are what make life interesting. It's where you learn about your life and how to deal with certain things. When you're too busy trying to fulfill those desires, how can you grow into a HUMAN BEING? There's no room for life. Sigh. It's a tough life out there, isn't it?
So what do we do now? Well, as the saying goes "Let go and Let God". We just have to keep ourselves knowing that our lives are in God's hands. He has our lives planned out and we just have to be who we are. Making rash decisions without consulting God first is like walking into an ocean not knowing how to swim. I guess I just have to keep my head up. Life is going to change. Maybe not the way we want it to or aiming to, but our lives are in good hands. We should make time for life to happen. We need to be a human being. We need to be alive. No more dead zombie (if you know about me, I got scared actually just writing that word. HAHAHA) schedules. & most importantly...
Smile. I promise, it makes life that much more bearable. Because when you think about it...we have it better than those out there.



(How ironic how the song playing as I end this blog is Let It Go - Gavin Degraw. Look it up. Hahahah.)


-- Danielle Delos Reyes